Yes, Girls DO fart! Sorry to burst your bubble.

I accidentally stumbled upon this. Only the--er--juiciest piece from the March '08 issue of the Guitar World interview with the late Dimebag Darrell's girlfriend of 20 years, Rita Haney. Rita is one of those people with a big heart, big mouth and big personality. She's a good ole gal from Texas, a rocker chick who wears kind of gaudy clothes and is loyal to those close to her. Sometimes this kind of person reveals waaaay too much information--and it's usually hilarious. And there are a lot of weenies that just can't deal. Such as you'll see in the article below.

I just love the guy who indicates that if his girlfriend farted in his presence he'd never speak to her again. What a wuss! The chick would be better off if she cut loose with a blast to beat the bomb that dropped on Hiroshima so she could be rid of this namby pamby wank job!

I've got a news flash for all you weenies out there that want to continue to believe that "girls don't fart." Yeah. We do. And if you're in a relationship with someone for 20 years, the chances are that you will one day let one fly in their presence.

With all the love and respect in the world to Darrell, I have this funny feeling that he may have launched a gas attack or two in his time. One big indicator would be the fact that he has a brother. When you have a brother, one of your attack tactics will be the Gas Barrage--I guar-on-tee. My brother used the Gas Barrage on me frequently. Of course, being a girl, I do not fart and therefore never retaliated in such an unseemly fashion.

Until Glade Plug-Ups come here to the material world, farts will continue to stink. But if you don't eat the Stinkhorn Soup at Dirty Sanchez and Pasta Fazool's bistro, you may at least have a chance that they won't flat out kill your partner.

Here's Rita and Darrell's gassy adventure. Maybe I'm just exceedingly immature, but I find fart stories amusing. And I do read the Poop report too. Why do you ask?

Guitar World magazine conducted an interview with late PANTERA/DAMAGEPLAN guitarist "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott's girlfriend of 20 years, Rita Haney, for its March 2008 issue, which contains a special section dedicated to Dimebag, the magazine's 2008 Hall Of Fame winner.

When asked for her favorite memory of her time with Darrell, Haney said, "Darrell didn't sleep well at night, but he'd nod out while he was watching TV. He loved to watch forensics. The second he'd go to sleep, I'd steal the remote and switch it over to something that I wanted to watch, and I'd be real quiet so I didn't wake him. One time we were sitting together on the couch and I had to fart. I didn't want to get up because it would wake him up, so I just let it slide out. After I did, I was going, 'Oh, my God! This smells so awful!' and I was trying to keep from laughing. About that time, he started to stir, and he said, 'Are you cooking something? I smell sausage.' And he went back to sleep. I started laughing and then he completely woke up and said, 'Goddamn it! You farted, didn't you?' I told him I was sorry, but I couldn't stop laughing. Every time I think about 'Are you cooking? I smell sausage,' I have to laugh. I have a lot of good memories of him, but that one is about as candid as it gets."


COMMENT Amazing
posted by : kubotah
1/27/2008 1:46:12 PM


that is the best story ever




COMMENT Classy woman.
posted by : Mercyful Hate
1/27/2008 1:49:38 PM


That was a nice story.




COMMENT ..
posted by : Heliotropic Rose
1/27/2008 1:56:04 PM


Funny, yet disturbing somehow. Too much information




COMMENT
posted by : Neil Young's Cocaine Booger
1/27/2008 1:58:01 PM


What a couple.....Dimebag and Douchebag.

Rita "HEFTY" Haney- the only person in the world who makes Paris Hilton and Britney Spears seem classy and intelligent.




COMMENT Rita can fart in my face anytime.....
posted by : Angus Von Danzig
1/27/2008 2:03:59 PM


as long as I could motorboat those bodacious tata's afterwards.




COMMENT
posted by : The Controversial One
1/27/2008 2:24:27 PM


That fart reference she made had completely sunk my boner into the ground




COMMENT Lol
posted by : Polimar
1/27/2008 2:28:52 PM


funny.




COMMENT
posted by : thrasher15
1/27/2008 2:32:07 PM


why don't you just post the whole fucking magazine




COMMENT Ewww
posted by : Corpsegrinder[PT]
1/27/2008 2:33:29 PM


RIP

My Boner




COMMENT .
posted by : vintage1986
1/27/2008 2:36:39 PM


rockstars get the best chicks.




COMMENT
posted by : Emannikcufesin
1/27/2008 2:38:43 PM


Funny story.




COMMENT
posted by : Fani Dilth
1/27/2008 2:42:56 PM


This whole thing as sunk to a new low. Dingus' all over the world will now be swinging southward.

Funny ass story though. Wonder if she will autograph a box of Owens Country Sausage?




COMMENT Actually
posted by : Corpsegrinder[PT]
1/27/2008 2:47:38 PM


It's quite surprising she's not blaming the fart on Rex or Phil




COMMENT Woke Up Dead
posted by : Woke Up Dead
1/27/2008 2:54:16 PM


Shakes head at screen, stands up and walks away from computer. Hasn't decided if he will ever come back.




COMMENT
posted by : richtownsend
1/27/2008 2:55:42 PM


Lol@Corpsegrinder




COMMENT Mortified-
posted by : SchecterShredder
1/27/2008 2:57:07 PM


Please, just plain no...if my girlfriend EVER said anything like that to anyone I'd never speak to her again. Ew.




COMMENT
posted by : agentorangeburn
1/27/2008 3:00:40 PM


I wouldn't expect someone like her to share much else.




COMMENT haha
posted by : Lastusernameinexistence
1/27/2008 3:07:31 PM


I dont care the situation. Anything having to do with a fart still makes me laugh.




COMMENT sick
posted by : killthachristians
1/27/2008 3:07:44 PM


when things like that happen with your girlfriend, you dont want people to know, even if you are fuckin dead, poor dimebag, another shameful way to tarnish his memory

\m/phil anselmo\m/




COMMENT
posted by : jonp347
1/27/2008 3:11:28 PM


Angus Von Danzig
What does "motorboat" mean, dude? I like that.




COMMENT ..........
posted by : eatyourwords
1/27/2008 3:12:10 PM


What a classy "lady?" Who even knows if this disgusting story is true. In that same interview she made up complete lies about other people, just to get some kind of revenge. She needs to go crawl in a hole and stay there.

Thank you.




COMMENT Fuck man
posted by : Woke Up Dead
1/27/2008 3:21:59 PM


Has anyone even noticed that she claimed that as her FAVORITE memory of her time with Dime? WTF?!

jonp347 - Motorboating is not an exact science but basically involves shoving your face in a plethora of cleavage. You generally try and burrow your face in deep while blowing or yelling.

LOL. Urban dictionary explains it like this (all official like):

The placement of one's face, specifically the mouth, into the area between a well-endowed woman's breasts, followed by a rapid shaking of the face in a side-to-side motion accompanied by yelling. The resulting sound that is created sounds similar to an outboard boat motor.

So apparently it is an exact science.




COMMENT
posted by : Dee67
1/27/2008 3:34:16 PM


Classy chick..

I bet she has lots of sausage memories that have nothing to do with this story.




COMMENT Well since we are already down this road.......
posted by : Angus Von Danzig
1/27/2008 3:38:04 PM


I'd like for a topless Rita, thus exposing those tig ol' bitties, to give me a blumpkin while I'm dropping some sausage farts which in turn would remind her of Dime with the result being two very content individuals. That is all.




COMMENT Blumpkin
posted by : motor-ed
1/27/2008 3:40:45 PM


Ewwww!




COMMENT that.....
posted by : stiff
1/27/2008 3:43:03 PM


is disgusting




COMMENT oh yeah...
posted by : jeffg
1/27/2008 3:44:11 PM


stay classy blabbermouth!




COMMENT
posted by : subzero
1/27/2008 3:45:44 PM


I never thought Rita Haney wouldbe the one to get me to realize just how much of a sausage fest Blabbermouth really is.




COMMENT
posted by : kling_klang_bed
1/27/2008 3:53:39 PM


So, ummmmmmmmm, in other news, how's the stock market today?




COMMENT
posted by : MustainepWnsYouAll
1/27/2008 3:54:50 PM


lol great guy dime was XD




COMMENT
posted by : madeinquebec
1/27/2008 4:00:23 PM


lmao you guys crank me up




COMMENT another lie. it wasn't a fart, it was a belch.
posted by : BOTTLESLAP
1/27/2008 4:00:53 PM


all sausagey smellin'.
ewww... fucking nasty.






COMMENT Neil Young's Cocaine Booger wrote:
posted by : BOTTLESLAP
1/27/2008 4:02:32 PM


"What a couple.....Dimebag and Douchebag."


OMfuckingGod!!!

i'm rollin' ova here!




COMMENT rock n' roll.
posted by : BOTTLESLAP
1/27/2008 4:12:25 PM


it ain't pretty folks.






COMMENT the most disturbing thing
posted by : MtnLion
1/27/2008 4:17:48 PM


Is that her fart would smell like "sausage"




COMMENT Hah
posted by : Sinned
1/27/2008 4:19:39 PM


Pantera was a metal band comprised of white trash beer swilling Americans and you're suddenly complaining about their lack of class?




COMMENT
posted by : pigchop
1/27/2008 4:26:58 PM




Everything that has been coming out of this chick's mouth is akin to a fart.









COMMENT ...
posted by : mca1981
1/27/2008 4:44:24 PM


yeah great memory......My most cherished memory of my dead grandpa is when he backed hand me ina fishing boat when I was 12...she just needs to keep her mouth shut...and people need to stop interviewing her




COMMENT ^^As for all the comments above^^
posted by : Kood
1/27/2008 4:53:46 PM


This is why blabbermouth should just be a music news site with no user comments. No one can be respectful.




COMMENT I know..
posted by : Moderus Prime
1/27/2008 4:55:07 PM


..what I'M never eating for breakfast again...




COMMENT Kood
posted by : Moderus Prime
1/27/2008 4:57:33 PM


"This is why blabbermouth should just be a music news site with no user comments. No one can be respectful."

What would be the point in calling it Blabbermouth then?





COMMENT
posted by : Big Rod Oh!
1/27/2008 5:02:11 PM


Rita - I'll fart in your mouth.




COMMENT UMMM....
posted by : damn_you
1/27/2008 5:13:59 PM


EWWW!!!!
but the comments on this posting are FUCKIN' FUNNY AS HELL!!!
LMFAO!!!




COMMENT
posted by : madeinquebec
1/27/2008 5:16:20 PM


I'd pee in her fart?????




COMMENT poo poo
posted by : poserdestroyer
1/27/2008 5:21:11 PM


rita not blaming rex or phil for the po poo poo, wow, she sux




COMMENT
posted by : Sidgeaberration
1/27/2008 5:28:32 PM


this is why i love blabbermouth





COMMENT For The Posts Alone...
posted by : pukeman44
1/27/2008 5:34:37 PM


This story was worth reporting, STINKY and all! Hey, anyone want some BRAWTS!




COMMENT Angus Von Danzig
posted by : Dee67
1/27/2008 5:38:55 PM


I'm just glad you didn't want to give her a chili dog.. restores my faith in humanity :)




COMMENT blabbermouth
posted by : whatwhy
1/27/2008 6:08:33 PM


thanks a lot now i don't need to buy the damn magazine anymore




COMMENT wat
posted by : loststreets
1/27/2008 6:14:47 PM


WAT




COMMENT Metal Hammer
posted by : Van Helsing
1/27/2008 6:18:28 PM


Some people seem to be confusing the Metal Hammer article and the Guitar World special issue. This quote is from Guitar World. It's about 2% of the entire interview with Rita, which is very revealing, to say the least. The Metal Hammer interview is where the Rex/Anselmo quotes came from on this page. That magazine actually came out a month or two ago, I believe. Guitar World is probably about two weeks old.

My point: Guitar World issue featuring Rita's interview is NOT THE SAME DAMN INTERVIEW as the one that was published in Metal Hammer.




COMMENT
posted by : whatwhy
1/27/2008 6:21:03 PM


this bitch needs to shut the fuck up, how long will her fame last ????




COMMENT Classic
posted by : Grapenutz
1/27/2008 6:39:31 PM


This story and these comments are what keep me coming back to Bmouth.

Keep up the good work!!




COMMENT ahHAHAHAHAHAH
posted by : nosurrender
1/27/2008 7:07:49 PM


the comments and this story is fucking classic.




COMMENT the best story of all
posted by : SmaSh it Up
1/27/2008 7:47:40 PM


is actually a game called Hide the Sausage (in her sausage factory smelling anus?)




COMMENT
posted by : Tin Omen 07
1/27/2008 7:55:55 PM


......her best sausage...maybe, Phil Anselmo??

There has to be a SERIOUS REASON so much animosity from her is towards Phil.

Not to incinuate anything. It's only logical though..........

Well, I wouldn't have posted that if she'd stop blamming Phil for what that souless waste of life Gale did




COMMENT I read this first in the GW article
posted by : vametal
1/27/2008 8:06:20 PM


and was grossed out then also.




COMMENT
posted by : The Space Lord
1/27/2008 8:11:28 PM


Dimebag's Grand Slam was supposed to come with sausage!




COMMENT
posted by : koalafishmutantbird
1/27/2008 10:16:14 PM


Rita is the new Sharon.




COMMENT
posted by : RiotAct666
1/27/2008 10:21:45 PM


Funny story.

R.I.P. Dime




COMMENT he must have...
posted by : truthrains
1/27/2008 11:39:50 PM


he must have been cookin up some sausage in her dumper for her farts to be smellin like that!!!



RIP dime.

someone stop her from doing interviews. please. she IS becoming the new sharon.

best BM headline in a while though.




COMMENT not only that....
posted by : truthrains
1/27/2008 11:41:00 PM


sharon is hotter.




COMMENT
posted by : Mr Maiden
1/28/2008 1:05:13 AM


He's fucking lucky she didn't strike mud!




COMMENT Why is this no class, no brain skank news?
posted by : Lemmyisgod
1/28/2008 1:24:16 AM


Blabbermouth. All white trash. All the time.




COMMENT
posted by : kling_klang_bed
1/28/2008 1:28:41 AM


Dimebag's sausage was probably the smartest thing to ever come out of her mouth.




COMMENT
posted by : Nothing_Is_Trivial
1/28/2008 3:10:44 AM


glad she had some goofy moments with him

shine on Dime




COMMENT MAN!
posted by : the -1
1/28/2008 4:42:20 AM


FUCK THAT BITCH! i bet shes making that shit up!

"oh i love it when he did this and that and he hates phil bla bla"




COMMENT
posted by : MetalBeer666
1/28/2008 8:08:18 AM


"Dimebag and Douchebag" was classic, so was the blast about her blaming Phil and Rex for the fart.







COMMENT
posted by : MetalBeer666
1/28/2008 8:08:53 AM


"Dimebag and Douchebag" was classic, so was the blast about her blaming Phil and Rex for the fart...

Carry on







COMMENT
posted by : MetalBeer666
1/28/2008 8:10:45 AM


LOL @ Dimebag and Douchebag

I bet her and Fat "Phil Did It" Vinnie share cowboy hats




COMMENT All sick.....but funny
posted by : The Legion
1/28/2008 9:28:41 AM


Though I can't help but say I'm glad it was sausage....thank fuck it wasn't biscuits & gravy.

I'm surprised he didn't ask her "Can I have fries with that?"




COMMENT All sick.....but funny
posted by : The Legion
1/28/2008 9:29:15 AM


Though I can't help but say I'm glad it was sausage....thank fuck it wasn't biscuits & gravy.

I'm surprised he didn't ask her "Can I have fries with that?"




COMMENT
posted by : ozzyforprez
1/28/2008 10:36:11 AM


thats a funny ass story
from a really dumb ass chick.
but how in any way is this news...




COMMENT if you know spanish
posted by : kalavera
1/28/2008 11:22:58 AM


she is now known as Rita Pedorrita...





COMMENT lol
posted by : 6mey6hem6
1/28/2008 11:47:11 AM


The part she forgot to leave out was it didnt smell like sausage because she ate some....




COMMENT
posted by : xXFALLOUTBOYXx
1/28/2008 6:10:43 PM


Cherry Danish, rusty trombone, rodeo, cleveland steamer...

Just adding a few to the "Motorboating" discussion.

BTW... "motorboating is also known as the bronski"

Class dismissed.




COMMENT
posted by : pflinger
1/29/2008 9:29:03 AM


She had just farted dimes load out lol Couldn't sleep at night huh maybe he should have not done so much crank




COMMENT Do the Math Blabbermouths
posted by : Scotts_Orange_Juice
1/29/2008 4:48:42 PM


Rita + Passing Sausage Flavored Gas = Disgusting




COMMENT Breakfast with Dime & Rita
posted by : Scotts_Orange_Juice
1/29/2008 4:50:40 PM


Dime: "Honey did you just fart?"

Rita: "I ain't Jimmy Dean that's cookin'!"




COMMENT Well...
posted by : Scotts_Orange_Juice
1/29/2008 5:24:15 PM


that means someone's colon needs to be cleaned out ! (starts with an "R")

Maybe she can bottle it up and sell it on the internet-

"Rita's Country Sausage Farts"

In different flavors lol

If You Like Fart Humor...

Then this may be right up your...er...alley!