My Ass Hurts

From all the shit I've had to deal with regarding computers today!
I want to get a Tuffbook, but they're $1700 so that will have to wait. I'm looking into getting one small computer that's made strictly for word processing functions and has a super long battery life. That one's actually fairly inexpensive. Then I need another computer for the online stuff that I do. I've tentatively decided on getting one of those new compact laptops from Dell. I tried to go with monthly payments but my credit is too shitty. However there may be an option to do it through Rent A Center, which might cost more per month. But I would have my computer.
Some of the online stuff I've been doing promises to pay me about $3000 within a month. If this is legit I'll let you all know about it because it's pretty easy to do. But I wouldn't want to get my friends in on something that's only going to lead to frustration. Or even my friendly enemies! My unfriendly enemies, however, can Google the Ultimate Wealth Plan. Or get involved with Don Lapre. My dumb ass lost money to those schemes, I can tell you!

I hate gremlins

The fucking gremlins have been at my computer. I had to reinstall Windows. Oh joy of joys.
There was some sort of instability and I kept having to turn it off restart it, rather than using the shut down function. That always causes eventual instability. I probably should take it to the tech just in case. Might as well just flush fifty bucks. This shit always happens all at once.

The way this thing looks you'd think I kicked it on a daily basis. Three keys have fallen off so far. It gets used a lot but I actually don't abuse it. I don't even move it around that much. WTF? Cheap piece of crap! The more advanced they get the more fragile they are.
Anyway, that's what's going on in my world at the moment. Hope yours is better.

Seems Fancy But Isn't

This is a real easy one to make in the slow cooker. The only thing is, you have to be careful not to overcook it, which is easy to do.

For every 1 cup of frozen tortellini, add 1 cup of water and 1 cup of seasoned mixed vegetables. If you can't find seasoned mixed vegetables, use any kind of mixed vegetables you enjoy and add a tablespoon of Italian seasoning for every cup of the other ingredients. If you like meat, add 1 Polish or Italian sausage for every cup of the other items. I made 9 cups worth of each because it was for a pot luck. For that amount of ingredients, cook on low for about 3 hours. I went a little over that and the tortellini got sticky. It still tasted all right but I would have preferred it a little firmer.

Cut up the sausage. Toss the ingredients with olive oil and parmesan cheese.

The leftovers will make a good pasta salad the following day. Mix with some greens and a little Caeser dressing. I like the oil and vinegar Caeser better than the creamy kind. Italian or a vinaigrette would also work well.

Sorry it seems like I only put recipes on this blog. I really don't feel like getting involved with political controversy lately. Lily's blog is probably controversial enough. And then there's my business blog, which is boring and not at all controversial but somewhat time consuming. So, probably no controversy here.

I like the vulture better

With a face like mine, it's not hard to find someone prettier to represent my products!

Mug shot

Sorry about breaking your computer monitor. I need a picture to make a promotional splash page and this horrifying mug shot is about the best photo I have of me. I blame the camera, but seriously, what did I give it to work with, after all?
I may end up using the vulture or the butterfly instead.

They Call Me The Cheesemeister

I got 8/10 right on Anne's Quiz on Cheese.

I was told: "You are a cheese connoisseur."

Check out my new venture!

Apricot Chicken

At last, another recipe! I have been so depressed recently that I couldn't cook anything that wasn't already prepped. This recipe is sooo hard, you'll never be able to do it. Only a genius like me can!
Kidding. This recipe is so easy, even an idiot like me can do it. Once again, I thank my friend the slow cooker.

APRICOT CHICKEN
6 chicken breasts, 4 oz. each
1/2 cup Russian dressing
1/2 cup Apricot preserves
1/2 envelope onion soup mix
If desired, 1/4 cup each chopped onions and mushrooms
Cook on low for 5-6 hours, stirring every 2 hours

See how hard that is? So easy a child can do it. Now I just need to find a child!
Most onion soup mixes contain the vile substance MSG. In many people (myself included) this causes respiratory distress and/or intestinal distress. It's an excitotoxin, which causes varying degrees of distress in certain people. So I used an organic onion dip mix from Simply Natural, which contains no MSG.
I don't like Russian dressing on salad, but it makes a good dip for chicken strips or chicken nuggets. Thousand Island is only good on Reuben sandwiches or Big Macs.

sorry self

I'm feeling sorry for myself. This fucking biology class makes me feel so thick headed plus I really don't want to be doing it. I also hate promoting stuff but I have to do it. Before I go to sleep I work on stuff. When I wake up to take a pee I work on stuff. When I'm working at my job and I have down time I work on stuff. I'm always working on stuff. Yet I seem to have less and less money and I don't have any more things.

My paltry student aid check came today. $270 and I was expecting $1000. More fucking disappointment. Maybe its a good thing nobody comes here. I'm really a pathetic bastard aren't I?

Alone in the fog

I feel like I'm driving through a fog. I don't know that I'll be doing much here for a while. It's boring and nobody comes here. This is kind of a bummer but is is a worse bummer that I never receive any personal email any more. All I do is promote stuff. I'll still be working on the humor blogs. There has to be something of me left somewhere. Not that anyone really likes me very much anyway. Once my son is in college I'll just finish it the fuck off. Everyone will be better off with me gone.

Just call me Willy Wonka

I've failed at every business venture I've tried before. But whether or not I succeed in the business end of this one, I'm still a winner. Because I have discovered my true love.
Chocolate that's actually good for you!
Check it out!
I just hope my butt ugly photo doesn't scare away the prospects.

Oops

Did I somehow offend people with my previous posts? I hope not!

On the other hand

If ya want tew reed sum reely intelijent konvursashun about 9/11 frum sum reely intelijent peepul that wil mak yu wish yu wur Kanadian, clik heer.

9/11 thoughts

Couldn't let it go by without remembering my father's college friend Kirsten, who died on Flight 93. I really didn't know her, but it brings a tear to my eye, especially when I saw the Flight 93 movie. That one could have been exploitative but I think they did a good job of trying to realistically portray the reactions of the passengers and crew.

I also think of the firefighters and cops who died trying to help people in the towers. My brother is a firefighter, so I know how these people put their lives on the line. He is also a SWAT medic and is wearing himself out trying to pass all the tests to become a captain. I hope he gets it. This work is his life and he would be really crushed after the hard work he's done if he doesn't. Of course like anything else there's politics involved and he's put his foot in it more than once with the upper management types, speaking up on behalf of the firefighter crew, who were often left to do all the cleanup work after a shift. The medics would leave. My brother could speak as both a firefighter and a medic, citing that just because the medics have more training doesn't mean that the firefighters don't work just as hard. His superiors were not happy and transferred him to another station for a few months as punishment. Petty bastards.

You really have to love this kind of work to stay with it. It's physically and mentally taxing. I couldn't have done it for as long as he has. These people are the real heroes, not some arrogant sports figure or stuck up Hollywood star.

Last year I wrote about the fire chaplain Mychal Judge. This guy is a great example of why all those morons who say that homosexuals shouldn't be allowed to be clergy are straight up stupid. His being gay was never an issue. He was there to counsel the firefighters and in the end gave his life trying to help people. Gay or straight should not make a damn bit of difference when recognizing a person's goodness and devotion to others--or when deciding who our friends are. I like people because they're good to me and generally try to be decent to others, not because of their sexual orientation. These people who say "God hates homos" really piss me off. What kind of god would create someone just to turn around and hate them. I contend that homosexuality is a natural form of population control and that the Goddess knew what she was doing when she decided that some people should be gay!

The religious right is piling up the kindling around the stake and bringing the ropes to tie me there even as I speak.

At any rate, a moment of silence for those who died. Religious fanaticism is never the answer.

Results of the Experiment

My horribly boring report on the results of the incredibly exciting thumb dominance experiment can be found here.

A Better Environment

I'm rallying mentally and physically. Still a little weak but definitely better than last night. And I have something fun for you to do! Just visit my "forest." Every visit to a "forest" helps collect clicks, and when a million clicks are reached, Act4Trees will donate 10,000 Euro to the reforestation of Amazonia. It's easy and painless. You can build your own forest too!

Sicko

Please don't anyone take my absence personally. I am really, really sick and am going to go lie down on the Short Couch. Yes, I'm at work. This malady struck me at 8:00--too late to call in barring a heart attack or a car accident.
First I became very depressed and paranoid. Then I thought I was having a bout with IBS. Well, the IBS flared up, but I'm now inclined to think it's due to food poisoning. Currently I'm running a fever of 102.5
The hypochondriac thoughts come in of "it's cancer and you're going to die horribly."
And I think back:

"Fuck--dying would be fine right about now. Problem with cancer would be that it takes too fucking long.

My stomach is gnawing on itself but I can't eat for fear of throwing up. It's a sad day when a person in their middle years has to put on the very sexy protective underwear. Yep--I keep these around for the times when the IBS gets really bad to the point of uncontrollable. Thus far it seems to have been overkill, but there were a couple of near misses. Hopefully I'm done with that end of it, so to speak. But if this fever goes any higher I'll have to take something to bring it down. My philosophy with a fever is unless it goes to 103 or higher, let it burn. Your body is trying to get rid of an infection. At this point even I lie down and quit running myself ragged.

Burn baby burn!

I couldn't even be arsed to find a picture of a nuclear explosion to include. Maybe next time.

My 20th Exciting Post

I Heart My Peeps

Just wanted to let my peeps know that I'm pretty much OK, in the most basic sense anyway. I'm not in the loony bin or suicidal. I don't feel very good--kind of always on the edge of a panic attack, and last night I was so tired that I saw a face on one of the oven fries at dinner, but I'm hanging in. There's just too much to do between work, schoolwork and promoting the book including its various satellite blogs. In the meantime, you can check out the latest drama in the lives of Zack Crackajack and Dr. Schitz. Their lives are are sooo much more interesting than mine!

The Walking Dead

Welcome to the realm of the walking dead! Thanks to everybody who has helped me with my assignment, and I'm sorry I've been a bit remiss in answering comments. I'm still one of the walking dead. I was exhausted but couldn't fall asleep until about 1:30 this afternoon. I was due to pick my son up at 3:15...ooops....that's when I woke up. Luckily he isn't a little kid so I could tell him to just hold tight and I'd be there soon.

I made my son an exciting late afternoon snack/early dinner of hamburger and mashed potatoes and then went back to sleep. I woke up to Son saying to me "do you have to work tonight?"

"Yep."

"Well, it's 9:30."

I had to be at work at 10. I found a pair of pants and threw a lab coat over the t-shirt I was wearing, not even bothering to find a bra. It's a thick t-shirt, I'm not busty, and the lab coat will hide anything that people might find offensive.

I checked how much paid time off I have, thinking that it's really time I took a week. I have a day and a half. And it doesn't accrue very fast. Shit. Spent the rest of it helping my family out over the past couple of years.

And there is another chapter in my too thrilling life. I am not one in a million, I am one OF a million. There are lots of zombies roaming around these days.

Investools

What the hell is an inve-stool?
I saw this at the top of the MSN home page. "Attend a free 2 hour Investools class."
I know...it's supposed to be Inves-tools. But I read it as an inve-stool.
Is this a new kind of step ladder? Or a new kind of colon cancer test?
What does inve-stool say to you?

Science experiment

I need to get results for this silly science experiment. Should you choose to participate, I would really appreciate it. All you need to do is tell me if you are right handed or left handed. Then clasp your hands together, interlacing the fingers. Tell me whether the right or left thumb ends up on top.
Thanks--I really appreciate it. I need to get 50 people to do this nonsense.

My Boring Blog

I have been tremendously tired lately and this blog is BORING! I appreciate everybody's support, but I acknowledge its boringness. If you want something snarkier, try my Stupidity Exposed blog, where I rip on pop culture.

When all else failed, I used to do a Top Ten Searches to your Blog post. But I'll have to move that over to Lily's Garden of Horrors. Which is going to end up being a great deal more interesting than this blog, but I won't hold back on all the esoteric belief stuff, so if you're the sort that tends to think that stuff is a load of crapola, you won't like that blog very much.

I have not been well lately. I have no energy, ever. All I want to do is sleep. I look like death warmed over. I have digestive problems and my pee smells rank. I don't think it's a vitamin deficiency because I take vitamins--unless there's some sort of vitamin that freaks like me use up too quickly. I already take extra B vitamins because people with bipolar use up b vitamins more quickly than normal people do. Maybe the B vitamins are making my pee smell bad--they're pretty stinky. I don't have a bladder infection because it doesn't hurt to pee. I test my blood sugar at work and it's normal. So...WTF. I really don't know.

I have to get through this damn biology class. My parents are hell bent on me being a nurse. Unfortunately, unless I were to work a second full time job I couldn't pay my bills without their help. And I can barely get my dead ass out of bed to go to the one full time job I already have. Since the ex husband hasn't worked in almost 2 years, I get no support from him and please don't suggest that I take him to court. He has mental problems too and he does help me out in other ways. He isn't a complete asshole. I wish he would get a job. But it doesn't do any good to ride his ass either. At least he's getting counseling from the local mental health service, which is good, he's needed it for a long time. I need it too, but I hate county mental health. They're overwhelmed and I don't think they'd know what the fuck to do with me. They didn't last time. They just want to put me on tons of medications. My body can tolerate Lithium--I have very bad reactions to most meds, not just psych meds but all meds. My ex got lucky--he got someone who's simply willing to talk to him. The time I went I got this person who had no sense of humor. She was nice enough but we really didn't click. Besides, it would be one more thing to drag my ass out of bed to do. This isn't wanting to stay in bed from depression. This is literal exhaustion. I already owe my doctor money--I can't afford another full health screening right now. So I drag on.

Anyway, I am supposed to get through this damn biology class. It's the last thing I want to do. My parents help me with some money needs as long as I agree to continue going to school to become a nurse. I would be a horrible nurse. Not that I would be mean to the patients, but I have a hard time concentrating when I get this tired. The job I currently have I can hold because it doesn't come with a lot of responsibilities. I just have to be there in case something happens and I have to do some computer tasks. Shit...I just want to go back to sleep now.