Pimp Me!

I enjoy having provocative titles! And while I still don't want anyone to link any of my Cheesemeister blogs because I need to have some place that I can come and feel safe to really express myself, my alter ego Lily Strange would really like for you to link to her profile--she needs the publicity! And she's willing to suffer possible trolls to get it. Greed tends to make a person snarky.

If you do it, thanks. I appreciate it!

If you don't, my co-author will come piss in your drink.

Only kidding. He saves that sort of juvenile poltergeist behavior for people he really dislikes.

Safe, Reliable, and Not Very Zingy

So here is this amazing quiz from MSN which will tell you all about what a sexy stud or hot babe you are as a date, based on what you would do for labor day. Somehow I always thought of Labor Day as one of those pig out and be lazy if at all possible holidays. (I won't be--I'll be working.) Seems about as romantic as Thanksgiving. But these people are experts, Folks. So if you dare, find out just what a love god or goddess you are according to your Labor Day preferences!

I am safe, reliable and not very zingy. Sounds about right.

Quiz: What’s your love style?
By Margot Carmichael Lester
Are you going all-out to plan an original and fun Labor Day weekend with your honey? Or just relying on your pals to plan a backyard barbecue? How much effort you put into your planning for this last big weekend of summer says a lot about your dating style. Take this quiz and learn about your true nature.

1. What’s your idea of the perfect Labor Day weekend?
Buying enough chips and beer to last through the Indy 500. (Score = -1)
Doing whatever the heck I want for 72 consecutive hours. (Score = 1)
Telling everyone I’m going out of town with my folks, even though I’m not.
(Score = 2)
Planning a cookout. (Score = 3)
Booking a nice get-away to a fun location for me and my new sweetie—neither of us will have to lift a finger. (Score = 4)
2. Which movie title best describes your approach to planning?
The Cheap Detective—I’m always looking for the low-price option. (Score = -1)
Bachelor Party—it’s all about me and my pals. (Score = 1)
Hide and Seek—if I lay low, I won’t make any gaffes. (Score = 2)
Everybody’s All-American—I’m a regular kind of person who tries hard.
(Score = 3)
The Trip To Bountiful—I love planning escapes for me and my friend.
(Score = 4)
3. You’re planning a Labor Day party. What’s your biggest concern?
Figuring out how to keep my date from crashing the party. (Score = -1)
How much my friends will pitch in. (Score = 1)
How I can get my companion to do all the planning so I can’t be blamed if something goes wrong. (Score = 2)
Making sure I’ve got enough charcoal and mixers. (Score = 3)
Doing enough prep work so I can really enjoy the party—and my date. (Score = 4)
4. When it comes to how hard you’ll labor for love, you:
Sit back and let other people expend all the effort. (Score = -1)
Date only low-maintenance folks who aren’t expecting a lot from me. (Score = 1)
Tell your date to just let you know what he or she wants to do. (Score = 2)
I’ll send flowers, snag great dinner reservations and get a nice birthday gift. (Score = 3)
I do whatever it takes to get the person of my dreams. (Score = 4)
5. Your date wants to get away for a few days. You say:
“Have fun!” (Score = -1)
“Can you book something in Vegas for us? I love playing the slots.” (Score = 1)
“I appreciate your taking care of everything.” (Score = 2)
“Sure, pick a place you like and I’ll be happy.” (Score = 3)
“Great, let’s sit down and plan something together.” (Score = 4)
SCORING

Less than 0: Ouch! You’re looking quite lazy—and cheap!
You’re not stepping up to the plate and being an active, responsible, and caring dater. Realize that you’ll only get out of romance what you put into it. And if money is part of the reason why you aren’t really participating in Labor Day love plans, know this: “I have a lot of clients who want to travel, but have serious budget restrictions,” says Arik Anderson, president of Executive Travel Center in Sacramento, CA. “Travel agents are always getting information on unadvertised deals, so don’t be afraid to use a rep to plan a trip on the cheap. Don’t worry, most don’t charge clients for services.”

0-5: You’re too self-centered to worry about what your date wants to do.
“You’re taking care of your needs. Now, there’s nothing wrong with that, as long as you then plan a reciprocal date that’s all about the other person’s needs,” says April Masini, author of Think & Date Like A Man. “Or if you can make some kind of a deal where Labor Day weekend plans are about you, but something else your date really wants — like Thanksgiving at his or her family’s house this year — will definitely happen. Relationships are about balancing your own needs with your generosity towards your partner.”

6-10: You’re so afraid of making a mistake that you don’t even try.
Dating is an adventure—don’t be afraid to get into the middle of things. Some things you try will be great, some will be no-go’s... but that’s part of life. Don’t sweat it and take some initiative—and some chances! And when it comes to travel-planning, get professional help. “Travel agents can do all the heavy lifting,” Anderson says. “Tell us where you and your date want to go and what you want to do there, and we take care of the rest. If anything goes wrong, we can help you fix it.”

11-15: You’re safe and reliable. Not bad qualities, certainly, but not very zingy.
You are a nice date, no date about that, but try to liven up your routine and how your and your date spend time. Spontaneity and surprises can do wonders. “Adding zing to your plans requires opening your mind to creative options and practicing doing that,” Masini says. If you need help planning a weekend away, consider this advice: “Take a charity or volunteer weekend away where you go to help out a disaster area or a poverty area. Take a cooking weekend where you immerse yourselves in gourmet cooking and eating courses and meals can be great fun, as can be your garden variety, but not-often-taken spa weekend for two. The more you add zing, the more natural it will become to add zing.”

16-20: You’re creative, active and engaged in life—and in your relationship.
These are great traits in a date—congratulations!

North Carolina-based quiz-mistress Margot is the author of The Real Life Guide to Life After College and Be A Better Writer.

Quandry

I have to come up with cheap (free, really) ways to promote the book and one of my ideas is through blogging. I lay down a new chapter once a week on the book blog. Hopefully this will entice some fuckers out there to buy the thing. And maybe some non-fuckers too. I also have a blog about "Lily's" thoughts. Lily is a bit of a fucker herself. She's an "alter ego." Unlike me, who is exceedingly sensitive, she is perfectly capable of being a callous asshole.

The third blog in the "Lily" series is about the promotion end of being an author. Hopefully other prospective authors will be able to learn from my frustrations.

While this might read like I have dissociative identity disorder, I don't. This is simply a clarification. I communicate with a lot of people who have dissociative identity disorder. They have several very interesting personalities. I, on the other hand describe myself as having a fractured personality. "I" am one person with several aspects--all of them shitty. "Lily" is part of me, but she's also a mask I can put on. A person with DID doesn't have the choice. Different personalities will come out depending on the situation. Sometimes the other personalities are conscious of what's going on at the time that a given personality is expressing, sometimes not. I'm not really sure why my soul didn't fracture into multiple personalities given my history, but it didn't.

I keep the "Cheesemeister" blogs hidden because I have to be able to express myself uncensored. The humor blogs, for instance the Death Cheese blog and the Crappy Times are raw and outrageous. Most people don't get my sense of humor. I need to be able to do this kind of stuff without criticism. It is my therapy. I also have a psych blog that I keep separate where I can express the worst parts of my psych issues. I prefer to keep this blog kind of light hearted. I talk about personal issues but usually not details of my mental illness. It's too depressing.

I honestly don't know where all this is going. I've started school again, and once again I'm doing way too much. That always ends me up in deep doo doo.

In other useless news, I may be the only person I know that can eat an entire grapefruit at one sitting. But I know for a fact it ain't grapefruit that made me wide on the backside. That would be due to the fact that I can eat an entire medium pizza by myself--and used to do so fairly regularly. Things of that nature. I now keep those individual pizzas on hand. That way I can still eat an entire pizza, but it doesn't do as much damage!

Chicken Enchilada Chili

I like to cook--as long as it doesn't involve any fancy maneuvers. Separating an egg yolk and white is too fancy for me! And I can't make meringue to save my life. No baked Alaska in this house! But if you can throw some ingredients in a crockpot/slow cooker or a casserole dish? That's for me!

This tasted pretty good. It's a good way to get rid of leftover chicken. You can also use canned chicken, but for my point of view, canned chicken tastes like canned chicken. You could also cook some boneless chicken breasts, refrigerate them overnight and then dice them. If you can get pre-diced chicken such as Schwan's, I like that the best after regular leftover chicken. It's easy to use, has already been cooked, and doesn't involve the Canned taste.

This is a good Tex-Mex dish.

Chicken Enchilada Chili

6 corn tortillas, 6 inch

1 16 oz can whole kernel corn with peppers, drained

2-3 cups diced cooked chicken

1 tsp chili powder or Mexican spice blend

1/4 tsp ground black pepper

1/4 tsp sea salt

1 (4 oz) can chopped green chili peppers

2 cups shredded Mexican blend or mild cheddar cheese

2 (10 oz each) cans enchilada sauce

1 15 oz can black beans, rinsed and drained

Guacamole and sour cream

Spray slow cooker with cooking spray or line with slow cooker liner. Place 3 tortillas in bottom of slow cooker. Top with the corn, half of the chicken, half of the seasonings, and half of the chili peppers. Sprinkle with half of the shredded cheese and pour half of the enchilada sauce over the cheese.

Place 3 more corn tortillas on top of the mixture. Top with the black beans, remaining chicken, remaining seasonings, remaining chili peppers and remaining cheese. Top with remaining enchilada sauce. Cover and cook on low setting for 5-6 hours. Serve with guacamole and sour cream.

Corn tortillas usually come in packages of 12. It's nice to serve the extras on the side with this dish.

I'd like to serve a nice arsenic-laden bowl of this to whoever designed the damn Page Wizard that my host provider so sadistically bestows upon us numb-nuts web designers that really don't know what we're doing. Next year when my tax return comes in, Dream Weaver shall be mine...oh yes!

Generally speaking, it isn't a good idea to serve arsenic with this dish!

Ch-ch-ch-changes

How do! I have been working on a promotional blog and advertising for the book. Which is why I've been negligent as hell. I also might invite myself to become a contributer to this blog under the "Lily Strange" profile (my pen name) simply so that I don't have to switch screen names to publish. But maybe that's a pain in the ass because I can only publish comments under this name and as Lily I'd be my own guest.
Does anybody else want to strangle "Amy" on the Nutra-system ads? She's just so perky and pert and AAAAHHHHHH! I want to borrow Axe Man's axe and chop her into little itty bitty bits!
On that note, it's probably time to take my medication!
Later!

Sporadic Posting

This is why my posting/visiting may be sporadic for a while. I didn't want to write it twice!

Biscuits

I mentioned serving biscuits with my fabulous raspberry glazed chicken in the last post--and I confused people. Because I forgot that biscuit can mean different things in different countries.

In Europe and most other countries, these are biscuits.











In the United States, these are biscuits. And these are what this ole hick was talking about.

Schwan's (the delivery service that I get much of my food from) makes really good ones. I use these because I'm lazy. But this is a recipe for those who are a little more inspired.

Southern-Style Buttermilk Biscuits
From Diana Rattray,
Your Guide to Southern U.S. Cuisine.

Delicious buttermilk biscuits, made with shortening and butter, along with buttermilk and other ingredients. Soft southern flour will make these even lighter, but any all-purpose flour will be fine.
INGREDIENTS:
2 cups all-purpose flour, stirred before measuring*
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup lard or vegetable shortening, chilled
2 tablespoons butter, chilled
3/4 cup buttermilk
PREPARATION:
Heat oven to 450°. Adjust oven rack to center position.
In a large bowl, combine flour, baking powder, soda, and salt. Cut in chilled shortening and butter until you have pieces the size of small peas.

Make a well in center of dry ingredients; pour in buttermilk. With a wooden spoon, gently blend dry ingredients into the buttermilk, just until mixture is clumping together. If necessary, add a few more teaspoons of buttermilk.
Transfer dough to a lightly floured board. Pat out in a circle about 8 inches in diameter and 1/2-inch thick. Using a 2 1/2 to 3-inch biscuit cutter, cut out and place on ungreased baking sheet. Bake on center oven rack for about 10 to 12 minutes, until tops are browned.
Makes 10 to 12 biscuits, depending on size of cutter.

*For the lightest biscuits, use a Southern white all-purpose flour if available.

If I ever go to England I might just be fool enough to order biscuits and gravy and an iced tea. That should get me some looks and possibly a straight jacket!

Here are some links that might be nice for those who either want to find more recipes or have food delivered to you if you are an admitted lazy ass like me!

Southern Biscuits Recipes
All Free Great Biscuits Recipes & Much More; Yummy, Easy & Free!
www.GrandmasRecipeBook.com

Southern Biscuits
The Ultimate Southern Gift Frozen gourmet biscuits, Ham Cheese
www.calliesbiscuits.com

Great Cookin' Skills

I like to make stuff that sounds fancy but takes very little time. The great recipe today is Raspberry Glazed Chicken Breasts. OOOOH! Don't you wish you knew how to make this gourmet item? Well, I'm about to tell you!
Take however many frozen chicken breasts you need, about 3-4 oz each.
Get some raspberry jam. A brand that does not contain high fructose corn syrup is best--not only because it tastes better, but it cooks better.
Take a butter knife and spread the chicken breasts with the raspberry jam.
Cook in a 375 degree oven (355 for a convection oven) for 30 minutes.
Turn the chicken breasts. Spread the other side with the raspberry jam. Cook for 10 more minutes.
Don't you wish you spent all day in the kitchen like me? I should have my own cooking show! Flip over in your grave, Julia Child! Eat your heart out, Emeril!
I like to serve these with baked potatoes and the omnipresent biscuits. I reeeeeallly like biscuits. And biscuits like me. They stick right to my butt!

Weirdos in your Neighborhood

Even though my housing situation is claustrophobic due to the units being placed way too close together, the people here are ok and it is quiet after midnight. On some nights that I don't work I fall asleep a little after midnight. Other times I'm up till 5. Usually I go out around 3 for a smoke and to take a short walk. It occurred to me that if anyone saw me doing this they'd probably think me nuts. And I'd have to sing them this song:

The bipolar insomniac's a person in your neighborhood
In your neighborhood
She's in your neighborhood
The bipolar insomniac is a person in your neighborhood
She's a person that you meet
If you're walking down the street
At the time when vampires come out to play

Oh the insomniac is somebody who can't sleep
And you'd freak out about the hours that she keeps
You might wonder what that psycho's doing here
But I'm harmless so you don't need to fear
I don't grow more hair when the moon is full
I don't have fangs or any of that bull
I'm just trying to pass the night away
Because I'm used to sleeping in the middle of the day!

The Schwan's (food delivery guy) woke my ass up at 1:30 yesterday. Yes, as in 1:30 p.m. Which is his scheduled time to arrive and I'm usually ready for him. But I was in a deep sleep and he had to really pound on the door to wake me. Freaked the dogs out--I didn't think they'd ever shut up! What's worse is that when I went back to sleep I had really fucked up dreams for the next 3 hours. Dreams of driving along this road that runs a bit behind where I live and falling asleep while driving and when I wake up the road is a sheet of ice--and there's suddenly this huge hill on a road which is in reality very straight and flat. And I'm sliding on the ice out of control.
Actually something like this did happen last winter. Not the falling asleep while driving part. I hit black ice on a downhill slope on a fast moving road. I ended up flying across lanes of traffic coming towards me and fortunately ended up on a pull-off spot on the other side of the road. I sat there shaking for about 20 minutes. When I finally had the courage to drive again I went the majority of the way on the shoulder at 5 miles an hour. It took 2 hours to get home from a spot that would normally have taken less than a half hour. This storm hit hard and fast. And I prefer never to go through something like that again. It's obviously deeply embedded in my brain now and joins the "I'm coming down the steep highway from the mountains and my brakes aren't working" and the tornado following me stress dreams. Joy is mine.
I may go back to sleep for a while. Hopefully dreaming of pleasant things, not failed brakes or icy roads or stalker tornadoes.
On the plus side my quest to leave plus size behind (and decrease the size of my behind) may succeed this time. I've been eating a lot of salad, drinking v-8, cutting down on saturated fat, and I was able to eat ONE cupcake for dessert last night without binging (the urge was there but I didn't do it) and eating more sensibly in general. I may succeed this time because I no longer have the idiot idea of doing it to be skinny or attractive to anyone but myself. Skinny is too high maintenance, both physically and emotionally for me to maintain. Average is fine. Chunky is ok. Actually there's nothing wrong with being fat so long as it isn't life threatening. I think more than anything else it's just proof to myself that I can do it because I'm actually healthy enough. My thyroid gland doesn't like my weight loss attempt, however. I know this because now I have rough dry patches on my face which are a thyroid related symptom. Sweet.
Enough blah blah blah from me for now. I'm still reveling in the relief of being able to say what I want without wondering what sort of stupid or offensive comments I'll be receiving from Senor Sociopath.

Mysterious Post Card

Today I received a mysterious pineapple post card. The secret spy organization was acknowledging receipt of the mysterious package. The pineapple post card is so mysterious that it self destructed five seconds after I read it!

Just kidding--actually I put it in PANSI and her friends' suite (aka the top shelf of my display case) for safekeeping. I certainly know that PANSI won't read it--reading gives her one of those "my grain hed akes." My scanner isn't working (or has been sabotaged by super secret spies when I'm out at work...hmmm....or maybe Butthead used it to scan a copy of his butt and now it's broken) so I don't have a picture of the glorious pineappleness to share with you.

From the Dark Past

I've gotten one of these twice and didn't think I deserved it. I was reluctant to post it. I feel like my fingers simply regurgitate the mess that comes out of my head. I don't really consider what I do to be thinking of any kind. It's sort of like a washing machine or a cement mixer, the way my mind works. It isn't pretty.

I got one from Indie, or more specifically, Indie at age 11. Please visit him in both his forms, he is very creative.

I also got one from someone with whom I had a falling out but I think we're cool now. I was very sad about this. I may come off as snappy and snarky but really I'm very sensitive and I hate for anybody to be angry at me. I think sometimes I bring out the worst in people.

Booger still sucks, though. Will somebody please tell me what a security token is? Was it invented by Bush?

I think this new venture will be a lot of fun. I'm actually feeling happy about it. And best of all, it is free of the scent of Troll Butt!

No Blog Roll

Folks, I have but one request. Please do NOT put me on your blog roll! The troll that was one of my big reasons for abandoning my old blog will be searching. If you want, you can put my book's website on your links. That would be cool!

http://www.lilystrange.com

Theme Song

The blog theme song is Strange World by Iron Maiden. Which happens to be one of the first songs I heard by Iron Maiden, and I was hooked!
Unfortunately I couldn't find a You Tube or whatever of this song. So you can't hear it. Boo! But here are the lyrics, which I love.

Strange World
Artist(Band):Iron Maiden
(Steve Harris)

The only place where you can dream,
living here is not what it seems.
Ship of white light in the sky,
nobody there to reason why.
Here I am, I'm not really there,
smiling faces ever so rare.
Let's walk in deepest space,
living here just isn't the place.

Stalks of light come from the ground,
when I cry there isn't a sound.
All my feelings cannot be held,
I'm happy in my new strange world.
Shades of green grasses twine,
girls drinking plasma wine.
A look at love, a dream unfolds,
living here, you'll never grow old.

Oh babe...
Don't you hear me call?

Welcome friends!

The only way you have this URL is if I gave it to you. Which means you really are welcome. I have had to be like the phoenix rising from the ashes of the old. I need to concentrate more on my writing because crazy though it sounds I was put in this world to do it. I need to have people in my world that are cool with the real me even if they think she's a little nuts. I also need to have people that respect my feelings. While I don't expect anyone to agree with or believe everything I say, I do expect not to be belittled or to have in my life those who refuse to take no for an answer. Part of the reason I started this blog is due to one of those people pretty much ruining things for me and everybody else on the old blog. I couldn't put up with this any more.
All of you know I'm mentally ill. I have rapid cycling bipolar disorder which causes mood swings and sometimes paranoia. I also have borderline personality disorder. I have a tendency to become suicidal, and I do have to fight the urge to self-injure. I do take medication (Lithium) and certain supplements to deal with this. Like a diabetic with insulin, it helps, but it isn't perfect.
I have issues with my weight. I have often coped with things by feeding myself, which isn't what I needed. No remarks made about weight are intended to hurt anybody, they are often angry outbursts leveled at myself. I have a high degree of self hate. Which I try to combat with humor. However, my sense of humor can be really stupid and in fact was the cause for the end of one friendship when a dumb joke I made was interpreted as an attack and prejudice. I do not want this to ever happen again. It hurts too much. If something I say offends you, please tell me. Chances are I had no idea it would be perceived as offensive and I will feel really sad that I upset you and will apologize and try to make amends immediately.
A couple of little rules.
Religiously speaking, I'm very tolerant. I dislike fundamentalist anythings because they are intolerant. I don't expect others to adhere to my particular religious philosophies but I also would appreciate that you don't try to convert me. I don't think anyone I've invited would do that.
Certain experiences in my life have led me to the realization that I can talk to dead people. I don't expect you to believe that either but I will not engage in discussions of why this isn't possible. I believe it is and if you believe it isn't, that's all good, but I don't want to argue about proving or disproving. I don't think any of you would do that to me either.
On one hand I'm very open about myself, on the other, I'm very guarded. This comes from not wanting to be hurt. Please don't take it personally if sometimes I'm not particularly forthcoming.
Now, with the bullshit out of the way, let's get to it!