The only way you have this URL is if I gave it to you. Which means you really are welcome. I have had to be like the phoenix rising from the ashes of the old. I need to concentrate more on my writing because crazy though it sounds I was put in this world to do it. I need to have people in my world that are cool with the real me even if they think she's a little nuts. I also need to have people that respect my feelings. While I don't expect anyone to agree with or believe everything I say, I do expect not to be belittled or to have in my life those who refuse to take no for an answer. Part of the reason I started this blog is due to one of those people pretty much ruining things for me and everybody else on the old blog. I couldn't put up with this any more.
All of you know I'm mentally ill. I have rapid cycling bipolar disorder which causes mood swings and sometimes paranoia. I also have borderline personality disorder. I have a tendency to become suicidal, and I do have to fight the urge to self-injure. I do take medication (Lithium) and certain supplements to deal with this. Like a diabetic with insulin, it helps, but it isn't perfect.
I have issues with my weight. I have often coped with things by feeding myself, which isn't what I needed. No remarks made about weight are intended to hurt anybody, they are often angry outbursts leveled at myself. I have a high degree of self hate. Which I try to combat with humor. However, my sense of humor can be really stupid and in fact was the cause for the end of one friendship when a dumb joke I made was interpreted as an attack and prejudice. I do not want this to ever happen again. It hurts too much. If something I say offends you, please tell me. Chances are I had no idea it would be perceived as offensive and I will feel really sad that I upset you and will apologize and try to make amends immediately.
A couple of little rules.
Religiously speaking, I'm very tolerant. I dislike fundamentalist anythings because they are intolerant. I don't expect others to adhere to my particular religious philosophies but I also would appreciate that you don't try to convert me. I don't think anyone I've invited would do that.
Certain experiences in my life have led me to the realization that I can talk to dead people. I don't expect you to believe that either but I will not engage in discussions of why this isn't possible. I believe it is and if you believe it isn't, that's all good, but I don't want to argue about proving or disproving. I don't think any of you would do that to me either.
On one hand I'm very open about myself, on the other, I'm very guarded. This comes from not wanting to be hurt. Please don't take it personally if sometimes I'm not particularly forthcoming.
Now, with the bullshit out of the way, let's get to it!
All of you know I'm mentally ill. I have rapid cycling bipolar disorder which causes mood swings and sometimes paranoia. I also have borderline personality disorder. I have a tendency to become suicidal, and I do have to fight the urge to self-injure. I do take medication (Lithium) and certain supplements to deal with this. Like a diabetic with insulin, it helps, but it isn't perfect.
I have issues with my weight. I have often coped with things by feeding myself, which isn't what I needed. No remarks made about weight are intended to hurt anybody, they are often angry outbursts leveled at myself. I have a high degree of self hate. Which I try to combat with humor. However, my sense of humor can be really stupid and in fact was the cause for the end of one friendship when a dumb joke I made was interpreted as an attack and prejudice. I do not want this to ever happen again. It hurts too much. If something I say offends you, please tell me. Chances are I had no idea it would be perceived as offensive and I will feel really sad that I upset you and will apologize and try to make amends immediately.
A couple of little rules.
Religiously speaking, I'm very tolerant. I dislike fundamentalist anythings because they are intolerant. I don't expect others to adhere to my particular religious philosophies but I also would appreciate that you don't try to convert me. I don't think anyone I've invited would do that.
Certain experiences in my life have led me to the realization that I can talk to dead people. I don't expect you to believe that either but I will not engage in discussions of why this isn't possible. I believe it is and if you believe it isn't, that's all good, but I don't want to argue about proving or disproving. I don't think any of you would do that to me either.
On one hand I'm very open about myself, on the other, I'm very guarded. This comes from not wanting to be hurt. Please don't take it personally if sometimes I'm not particularly forthcoming.
Now, with the bullshit out of the way, let's get to it!
