ain't it the truth?

A true (if distressing) sign o' the times.

Let's hope (if unrealistically) that more people will grow brains and a social consciense, and soon!

Luck and prosperty to us all in 2008.

I'm Losing It

I brought this soup to work with me and as I was eating it I was thinking, "this is the crappiest Minsestrone I've ever eaten. Who the hell's idea was it to put rice in it instead of pasta? In fact there's hardly anything but rice. This sucks!

Then I looked at the label and saw that it was "Mexican Style Chicken Tortilla." One of those "healthy request" soups from Campbell's.

I guess it's passable for a "healthy" chicken tortilla soup. Talk about rice overkill, though! And it would have sucked donkey 'nads if it was minestrone.

Talk about needing to read the label!

Easy and Elegant

Just what you want for a holiday meal--something that tastes like it took a lot of time and effort but it took almost none! This is a Burgundy Peppercorn Beef Roast. Sounds and tastes fancy, is easier than making Hamburger Helper!

I used a 2-pound roast, so adjust the portions accordingly if your roast is bigger.

The first method involves marinating the roast in the fridge overnight. A large Ziploc bag works well for a smaller roast.

Take a 2-3 pound roast, frozen. In small bowl blend 1/4 cup soy sauce and 1 cup burgundy wine for cooking. Dredge roast in mixture. Grind fresh black pepper onto roast. Place in large Ziploc bag. Pour remaining liquid into bag with roast. Marinate for 6-8 hours, turning once.

Place roast and liquid in slow cooker. Cook on low for 4-6 hours or until done through.

With the second method, place frozen roast, wine and soy sauce into slow cooker. Grind pepper onto roast. Cook on low for 6-8 hours or until done through.

Could it be any easier? And when you taste it you'll want to make it again and again!

Best wishes for your holiday celebrations.

A Plea

Please, please, please, go to PANSI'S blog and give her a present. Or she will drive me crazy. I keep hearing her voice even when I'm trying to sleep. For the love of God, or the Goddess, or Nyogtha, or Cthulhu, or whatever it is you worship! Before I lose what little sanity I have left!

Easiest Ever Slow Cooker Recipe

This is the best slow cooker recipe ever for lazy people. There is practically zero prep. All you do is buy a bag of prepared meatballs from the frozen foods section and two eight ounce jars of Queso dip. Put the frozen meatballs in the slow cooker on low for an hour, then add the two jars of Queso and cook for another hour or until heated through. These are great served on a baguette or hoagie roll for a sandwich, or as an appetizer. Great for pot luck suppers. Truly easy and every carnivore loves them. Axe Man ate a whole potful all by himself, so I had to cook another potful. These were quickly devoured by Soggy and his Spawns, along with the slow cooker.

Drunken Flashback

You're a Wild Drunk

You can get enough drink. Seriously, you'll just go puke and start pounding them back again!

What Kind of Drunk Are You?

That's how it was back in the day. Now it takes me six months to drink a six pack.
The time that really should have told me I was drinking too much? I was playing this drinking game, wandered off with these people I didn't know, did beer bongs, ended up at the apartment of this couple I didn't know, smoked weed, called a taxi, ended up at the student health center because my stomach really hurt, left when my stomach stopped hurting, joined some other drunk people I didn't know, went to their dorm room, had some more beer, and some how ended up back at my dorm room. I do think that's a touch too much on the hooch!

A blogthing

Your 1950s Name is:

Phyllis Victoria

What's your 1950s Name?

Interestingly, my mother's sister is named Phyllis. I don't think we have any Victorias in the family, unless she's one of the skeletons in the closet.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

The Playroom has become Strange Daze and will probably stay that way but who knows? I will now post my war stories from the Gerri Atrik Retirement community here as well. It was becoming too difficult to keep up with that many blogs, especially since I can hardly keep my damn eyes open!

Zombie Time

I have to drag my dead ass out the door and drive the 25 miles northwest to see my parents. Then at about 9:15 I have to drag my dead ass out their door and drive 20 miles west to get to work. Then at about 6:15 a.m. I have to drag my dead ass from work and drive 10 miles east to crawl back into my coffin. Oh lord, me so tired. How long can this go on?

The Snark Recap

FOR A MORE AMUSING TAKE ON THE NEWS OF THE DAY, CLICK HERE.

Shitty weather, snotty roads

The weather right now is perfect for creating roads that seem like they're covered with frozen snot. 19 degrees Fahrenheit temperatures (don't know what that is in centigrade, but suffice it to say, it's fucking cold) and constant light snow which quickly turns to ice. Actually the road was all right until I was cruising complacently at about 45 mph on a downhill slope. I noticed that someone ahead of me had slipped off the road so I knew there was black ice. I started slowing and hit it myself. Fortunately there was enough room between me and the cars ahead that I could tap the brakes but I ended up sliding onto the side of the road, not having slowed a hell of the lot. I figured if worse came to worse I could go off the road into the grass and get some traction.
Are there really people that like driving in this shit? It scares the hell out of me! A lot of people drive too fast for conditions. It normally takes me a half hour to get to the city where my son's school is, but today I'm going to give myself an hour. He was late this morning.
I hate this shit and want to move to Arizona.

Blog Merger

Hello to all five of my readers! We at Corporate are pleased to announce that for the sake of simplification, the Stupidity Exposed Useless Celebrity Gossip Blog has now merged with the Playroom to provide you with more shallow and vain pleasures. We hope you will enjoy the new inclusion of Stupid Celebrity Gossip at The Playroom!

Yours Very Truly,

The Evil Corporation Heads

What a Crock of crap!

Now hear this--Google screws blogger big time!
Read this and see for yourself.
Bastards don't expect to ever have to pay for AdSense and when they do, they'll make sure they don't.
Yeah, that's confusing. Just click the link. All will become clear.

My New Favorite Breakfast Burritos

Studying for biology final...so brain numbing...I took a break to make these.
You will find that I cook everything in the convection oven, which may seem a bit unusual. My stove sucks and I can't afford a new one just now. So feel free to modify the cooking method to use a skillet if you prefer.

Ingredients:
1 pound of your favorite sausage, thawed
1 tbsp olive oil (essential if cooking in a skillet. For the silicone pan I use in the convection oven, I spray the pan)
1/2 cup finely chopped green pepper (about 1/2 medium sized pepper)
1/2 cup finely chopped onion (I like the red ones. This is about 3/4 of a small onion)
2 cups frozen hash brown shreds
8 eggs, scrambled
8 oz (1 cup) queso dip
6 10 inch flour tortillas
salsa if desired

Cook sausage according to package directions. (I thawed in the microwave and then cooked for 20 minutes at 330 degrees in the convection oven. Then I wiped up most of the grease but left a little for flavoring)
Put hash browns, onion and green pepper in your skillet or pan. Cook for 10 minutes in skillet or 20 in convection oven.
Pour in eggs and cook until almost set. Stir in sausage and prepared queso dip. Cook for another 2-5 minutes or until eggs are set and all is heated through.
Fill and roll each tortilla with the mixture and top with salsa if desired.
Makes 6. I eat one fresh and put the rest in Ziploc bags to have as a handy breakfast when coming home from work.

Yummo!

Gifts

I like giving people gifts, but the standard holiday season is not when I can best afford to do so. It's usually in March. So when you're least expecting it...expect it! And it will be something truly unexpected. And heartfelt even!
I recently sent summer sausage and cheese spreads to my former in-laws (no, not because I hate them, they like that kind of thing!) and to my brother and his wife. My brother loves to eat and his wife is so picky that I really don't know what to get her, so hopefully she appreciates the gesture. The woman had a really messed up childhood so I can't blame her for being a bit quirky. But being around her is like walking on eggshells. You never know if you're going to accidentally offend her because she's so sensitive. My parents will also get a foodie gift because they don't want more things. My son will get a CD and some other small things. I'm afraid I'm not exactly rolling in dough this year. I've never been exactly rolling in dough, but it seems like every year I'm able to do less, even though I generally get a raise every year. So WTF? Is it the economy? Prices of things too high for cost of living increases to keep up with? Who knows--all I know is I wish I was rich! I'd be generous as heck...I deserve it, dang it!
Hell, just give me half of Paris Hilton's money. I always wonder how money tends to end up in the hand of spoiled skanks (both male and female) rather than in the hands of people that would do some good with it. It's truly one of the mysteries of the Universe.

Screwed!

I have only been driving my Escort during the day due to the license plate lights being burned out. Today I decided to get off my lazy ass and replace them. But lo and behold, the screws are rusted in and stripped. If I had a power drill, I could buy some of those Grabits and get them out of there. But I can't seem to justify spending $50 and probably more on a power drill and $30 on the Grabit to replace a $2 part when its cheaper to buy the lighted license plate frame.
Even though I will look like a wigger if I have one of these on my car, it really does seem to be the best option.

In other news, your blog may have been spammed by this message:

I hate to spam other people's blogs so I usually never do it. But I have been having zero luck getting participants for my first annual story contest. The topic is the horrors of fruitcake. (Which happened to be inspired by one of your posts.) Since anybody with even a modicum of talent should be able to beat the ridiculous example I wrote, y'all are missing out if you don't c'mon down and give it a shot! You will gain infamy, misfortune and disdain...oh wait. That's the last review for Death Cheese. I mean, you will gain fame, fortune and acclaim. That's right, click here and you too can join the ranks of the best! Or at least you can have fun and win priceless prizes.

Yeah, that was me. Sorry about the Spam. Spam sucks. But I really would like to get some entries besides me in my story contest!

New Look! New name! Big contest with great prizes!

Welcome to the Playroom! Hopefully we'll all have fun here. And for the first bit of fun, please come to the Creative Crabbing Blog and enter the great Fruitcake Horror Story contest with REAL prizes! It just wouldn't be Xmahannuramakwanzyule without Evil Fruitcake, now would it?

Science Project

I need three more "subjects" for my final science project. All you have to do is answer a few questions, it would really help me a lot.

1. Are your earlobes attached or unattached?

2. Can you roll your tongue?

3.When you hold your thumb up and pretend to be the Fonz, is your thumb straight without much of a bend, or does it bend back to a significant degree?

4. Is there hair on any part of your middle finger?

5. When you clasp your hands, is the right or the left thumb on top?

6. When you bend your wrist back, do you feel two or three tendons?

Thanks, I'd really appreciate it!

Please see this with a sense of humor!

http://www.okcupid.com/slut

It was all "back in the day." I ain't been there or done that in almost 10 years now.

The Sleaze Quiz

My score was 132 on the Sleaze Quiz, which apparently means I'm enjoying life to the max. Or at least I was 25 years ago!

The Dr. Seuss Purity Test

However, according to the Dr. Seuss Purity Test, I am 72% Pure!
This test is hilarious, take it now!

The Hundred Question Purity Tests

26% Pure

http://www.penddraig.co.uk/pen/tests/purity.htm

This test is kind of amusing. When you're an old fart like me it skews the results a bit because unless you took a vow of celibacy, you've had sex, probably more than once. But I don't think I'll get any less pure unless I suddenly go real freako in my old age, and I doubt anyone wants to see that much sagging, fat flesh all at once.

How the Old Bat Stole Xmas

Nope, You're Not a Grinch

Although you may feel Grinch-like at times, it's just because you're worn out from the holidays. You get into the holiday spirit more than most people - and you truly enjoy celebrating with your family and friends.

Are You a Grinch?

Stupid Holiday meme

What The Holidays Mean to You

For you, the holidays are about generosity. You give as much as you possibly can to friends, family, and charity. You celebrate the holidays in a natural style. Homemade gifts are your favorite, and you can't stand imitation Christmas trees or wreaths During the holidays, you feel magical. You love all of the decorations and how happy people are. You like to sit back and take it all in. You think the holidays should be decadent and indulgent. You never mind gaining a few holiday pounds... it's worth it! Your best holiday memories are of childhood foods and traditions. You secretly still wish you believed in Santa Claus.

What Do the Holidays Mean to You?

I do NOT hate my little Xmahannuramakwanzyule tree and it sure as hell didn't grow in no damn forest!
How HAPPY everybody is? Bah, humshit!

But I do wish I still believed in a Sanity Clause.

To Flush or not to Flush the Shitty Blog

I've been thinking about just flushing this blog. Very few people visit it and I guess I don't blame y'all on that account, it is pretty lame. I would keep the Netherworld blogs because that's my form of therapy. Very few people visit those for a reason--very few people know about them! Since I'm attempting to promote the "Lily Strange" blogs and hopefully in a roundabout way get readers to them (a real bust so far) maybe I ought to just concentrate on those.

I haven't yet figured out exactly what it is about my personality that sucks so much and maybe I don't want to know. I'm not mean unless I'm provoked. I literally wonder if the fucking dingleberry put a curse on me. After I shut down the old blog to get rid of him I lost readers on all my blogs. I wonder if someone actually believes whatever shit the asshole said about me? Who knows? What I do know is between Internet Exploder (we don't have a choice at work) this computers processor and this keyboard I'm typing maybe 25 wpm (I usually type 70) and its pissing me off!

Truth is I have been considering saying fuck everything but the Netherworld blogs. I guess I feel sorry for myself. Some people get so many commenters and I'm lucky to get a few. I will say that I think the few that have stood by me are the real deal, though! Thank you more than I can say.

I'm Thinking

Which is probably a bad plan. I'm thinking about going public with My Shitty Blog. I feel blue because I only have maybe three people that ever comment. Which may indeed be because it is, after all, a Shitty Blog. The Dingleberry seems to be history. So maybe the time has come to spread shittiness again.

Chowda!

I was feeling bummed because my Thanksgiving dinner offerings were all duds. But this soup is a winner. Get out the crock pot and a few easy ingredients and you'll have an easy, delicious soup that even a clod like me can't screw up.

CORN CHOWDER

24 oz chicken broth

16 oz heavy cream

3 cups frozen corn

4 cups mashed potatoes

1 cup diced onions or 1/4 cup dehydrated onions

2 stalks celery

8 oz shredded cheddar cheese

Set slow cooker to low and cook for about 3 hours, stirring occasionally.

Also, we had a power outage and a bunch of food spoiled. Stinky! At least it wasn't out for long enough to spoil what was in the freezer. That was still cold.

I should not have eaten that corn dog...indigestion city! When will I learn that yes, my stomach really is 42 years old, just like the rest of me!

Thank you!

Here at last is a man with the balls to tell it like it is.

Something that would like to see happen in my lifetime, but it probably won't, is an end to racism.

But like Jason Whitlock says, it doesn't do any good to blame other races when you're killing your own.

There are some decent people in the world.

Although he was breaking the law by attempting to enter the United States illegally, Manuel Cordova did the right thing when he helped a boy whose mother had been killed in an accident. This is someone who deserves good luck and I hope he gets it.

Google Gets On My Nerves Again

Because you can no longer have an undeclared country in your profile. If you don't declare a country, your country of origin is immediately set to Afghanistan. Whatever, Dude. Mentally, I don't even live on this planet! So why should I have to tell everyone what country I'm from?

I'm just sayin'...

A Meme for my Shitty Blog

I stole this from Austin. You can steal it from me if you want.

• Full Name (or screen name) - My real first name is Cara, I go by Cie, but you can just call me Cheesy.
• Birthdate: February 15, 1965
• Birthplace: Denver
• Current Residence: USA
• Eye Color: Green
• Hair Color: It's actually gray but it's been dyed burgundy. It's growing out right now.
• Righty or Lefty: righty.

—————–DESCRIBE——————
• The Clothes you wore today: They are very sexy. Oatmeal sweats, white t-shirt with the logo of the Gerri Atrik Retirement Community
• The shoes you wore today: Brown crocs
• Your fears: That something really horrible will happen to someone I care about. And a myriad of others.


—————–WHAT IS——————
• Your most overused phrase: Shit fire and save matches, and fuck-a-doodle-doo.
• Your thoughts first waking up: “Oh shit, do I have to?” I wish I was joking but I’m not.
• Your bedtime: Usually between 8 and 10 AM

—————–YOU PREFER——————
• Pepsi or coke: Both suck the wad! They give me horrible abdominal cramps.
• McDonald’s or Burger King: I like making fun of their mascots. Other than that, they're both bad for you and the food kinda sucks but it'll do in a pinch. McDonald's tends to give me the trots. You did want to know that right?
• Single or group dates: I like going out with friends
• Adidas or Nike: Whatever's comfortable and on sale
• Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
• Cappuccino or coffee: I need crappuccino for my bunghole!

————-DO (DID) YOU——————
• Smoke: Yes. One or two cigarettes a day, literally
• Cuss: Fuck yeah!
• Take a shower everyday: No. Usually every other day. I'm usually too tired.
• Want to go to college: Fuck no, but I am.
• Like high school: I liked cutting class and getting high
• Want to get married: Uh, no. Been there, done that refused to pay for the T-shirt
• Type fingers on the right keys?: Yup
• Believe in yourself: Depends on how hypomanic I am
• Get motion sickness: Holy crap yes.
• Think you’re attractive: If I'm hypomanic I think I'm not hideous. If I'm depressed I think I'm one ugly beeyatch.
• Think you’re a health freak: I probably should be

• Get along with your parents: I work at it

• Like thunderstorms: I do. I like to sleep to the sound of the rain.
• Play an instrument: Several, all badly.

————IN THE PAST MONTH DID:/:HAVE YOU————–
• Go to the mall: Fuck no!
• Eaten sushi: No way. I gave up bulimia!
• Been on stage: Yes
• Gone skating: Yes
• Made homemade cookies: I have, but these days I use those pre-made ones that you put in the oven however many you want at a time. They're good!

• Dyed your hair: Yes
• Stolen anything: Your soul

————-HAVE YOU EVER——————
Flown on a plane: yes
Told a guy/girl that you liked them?: Yes. The most embarrassing time was when I was wasted on hallucinogens and called a classmate and told him I was in love with him.
Cried during a Movie? Oh fuck yeah.

Cried during a song? Yes. I'm a big wuss.
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Oh holy shit yeah. Many a time. Not in the past 7 years, though.
Been in a fight: Yeah

—————-THE FUTURE——————
What do you want to do as a career if money was no object: Write, duh!
What country would you most like to visit?: Iraq sounds like a blast. But seriously, I've only been to Canada and Mexico. There are a number of places in Europe I'd like to visit.

—————– NUMBER OF—————–
• Number of people I could trust with my life: My son, my father, my brother and, believe it or not, my ex-husband.
• Number of CDs that I own: About 200
• Number of piercings: Pierced ears
• Number of tattoos: 0
• Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? 5, I think
• Number of scars on my body: A few small ones, and one big one from my cesarean section.
• Number of things in my past that I regret: Too numerous to mention

—————-RIGHT NOW——————
• Wearing: Same thing I said earlier
• Drinking: Water with a little grape juice added for flavor
• Thinking about: I should quit fucking around and write something
• Listening to: "Patience" by Guns N Roses

———IN THE LAST 24 HRS——————
• Cried: No
• Worn jeans: No
• Met someone new online: No
• Done laundry: Yes.
• Drove a car: Yes
• Talked on the phone: No

—————DO YOU BELIEVE IN————–
Yourself: Sometimes
Your friends: Sometimes
Santa Claus: Yes, and the fucker better bring me some good presence this year!
Destiny/Fate: To an extent
God: I believe in a creative force, multiple deities, angels and demons. I worship the creative force, multiple deities, and angels. I maintain a healthy level of respect for demons and try to avoid contact with them.

——–FRIENDS AND LIFE——————
• Do you ever wish you had another name?: When I was little I would say "Cara smells of onions." I didn't like my name. I'm neutral on it at this point. Half the people who see it mispronounce it. It's care-a, not car-a. The car-a is something you drive-a. You cannot drive-a me!
• Who have you known the longest of your friends? Scot. I've known him nearly 25 years.
• Are you close to any family member?: Sometimes I think I am sometimes I don't. I'm actually reasonably close to my son but I try not to get too close because I don't want him to feel like I'm smothering him.
• When have you cried the most?: I've cried a lot over numerous things. Usually tragic things like a beloved pet or family member or friend dying. It's kind of personal to talk about it.
• What’s the best feeling in the world?: When something you worked really hard on gets the acclaim it fucking deserves!
• Worst Feeling?: 1) the horror of finding out someone you love has died.

2)When someone takes a shit on you and tells you that you're not good enough for them.

——–FAVORITE/LEAST FAVORITE——————
• Book – I love the classic horror masters

• Board Game – There are several of these that I love. A fun one based on H.P. Lovecraft's stories is Arkham Horror
• Least favorite smell – When one of the residents where I work has a big shitty accident.
• Favorite smell – A chocolate cake cooking--fuck! I just made myself hungry!
• Color – Blue and purple
• Least favorite color – that shitty mustard yellow

NOW IT'S YOUR TURN! DO IT! NOW!

Rejoice Brothers and Sisters, My Shitty Blog is Here!

Notice the enticing changes to enhance the true shittiness of this blog. I figured I might as well be truthful--this blog really sucks! I have others that I don't think suck, but this one does. It's kind of the trash blog where I put all the shit that doesn't belong anyplace else. Why don't I just delete it? Because then I wouldn't have anyplace to put the trash!

If anyone recalls the old blog, it served the purpose of being able to be somewhat silly and a bit opinionated. It wasn't about the horrible depths of my psych problems and it wasn't about writing or crazy stories. I kind of thought about re-opening the old blog but then again, why dig up the past? Nay, for now, My Shitty Blog will suffice. I'll add some tunes and more banners linking to my other, better blogs. Then it may not blow quite as much.

Rich?

Well, this dish is. This is an ultra-rich Waldorf Sweet Potato Salad. Unique, and full of fruits and vegetables.

1 small can sweet potatoes
1 8 oz can pineapple, drained with 2 tbsp juice reserved
1 11 oz can mandarin oranges, drained
1 apple, chopped
1/2 cup celery
1/4 cup lite sour cream
1/4 cup lite mayo
1/4 cup chopped walnuts

Warm sweet potatoes in microwave on high for 2 minutes to dissolve sugar. Combine sweet potatoes, pineapple, mandarin oranges, apples and celery. Mix sour cream, mayonnaise and pineapple juice to make dressing. Gently fold sweet potato mixture into dressing and chill. Add walnuts just before serving.

You're kidding, right?

Cash Advance Loans

I didn't even give anyone a blow job to get this rating. I don't post anything but bullcrap on this blog, so why I got this rating I'll never know. Could it be the recipes?

Fun With the Elderly

Click here to read a lightly fictionalized tale of an encounter with one of our more, shall we say, persnickity residents.

My Favorite Junk Mail

Every now and then I check my spam folder to see if anything I might really want has inadvertently gotten in there. Today there were a couple of very interesting subject lines: "Tony's Significant Cock" and "How To Last Longer In Bed."
Now I didn't open either of these because a) they were in my personal inbox so it isn't like they'd be business-related and b) even if they were in my personal inbox I'd be pretty sure they weren't business related.
But I have to say, although the "how to last longer in bed" was likely some sort of herbal viagra ad, at least the seemingly porn ad wasn't "see hot teen pussy in XXX action" like the usual "enticing" subject lines for porny emails. I'd be much more likely to look at Tony's Significant Cock than Hot Teen Pussy.

Sexist Coffee Shops?

This article in Slate proposes that coffee shops discriminate against women. I'm not sure what coffee shops they mean, but I sure as hell wouldn't go back there! Once every two weeks I get a bagel omelet sandwich and a latte as a treat for myself at Einstein Brothers Bagels. I don't think such a thing could happen here because the orders are processed as they come in. Granted, if someone orders a plain coffee and a bagel with cream cheese, their order will be done before the person just ahead of them who ordered an omelet sandwich and a specialty latte. But they are processed in the order received and everyone is treated with courtesy.

The article says that "men receive their coffee on average 20 seconds before women." I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure I never counted the seconds as to how long it took the nearest males to me to receive their coffee as opposed to how long it took me, and in all honesty, I think I would miss out on that 20 second factor. I'm not saying that discrimination doesn't exist, but if this 20 second gap was the deciding factor, how the hell would you be able to tell?

I'm just wondering if this study wasn't done by the same people that argue that Scar in the Lion King is a character created as a stereotype slap in the face to gays, that Harry Potter is sending our kids to hell, and that Tinky Winky from the Teletubbies is turning them all into fruits. Although having seen the horror of the Teletubbies once I could be easily swayed into believing that I should protect young children from the horrific little perverts.

The point being that some people have way too much time on their hands and they really ought to donate some of it to me. If that can't be done, then they can donate money instead!

Oh, shut the...front door!

It isn't FOAD Thursday yet? Damn! Because Liz Pulliam Weston, the MSN Money Broad, gets on my nerves every day, but this particular piece of patronizing from her just made me want to give a FOAD in her direction.

Maybe some of y'all get offended if someone gives you money or a gift card. I'm cool with it. Liz says gift cards are NOT gifts, they just show that the giver "didn't think about the recipient." To me, a gift card says "I didn't want to get you some crap you didn't need." I like getting gift cards.

This was my response on the message board:

To me, a gift card says "I didn't want to get you some crap you don't need or something you already have." I think it's thoughtful of the giver to let me choose my own gift. Maybe to give me a chance to go to a nice restaurant (to me, Red Lobster is a nice restaurant.) which is something I rarely get to do. Or to buy some books. How is someone who doesn't live with me supposed to know what books I already have? Methinks the author of this article is a tad too self oriented if she expects everyone to be thinking only of her, her, her and her needs and wants. They might guess wrong!

Let her send me her unwanted gift cards. I'll find a use for 'em!

Hell, as far as I'm concerned, if I get something besides a lump of coal in my stocking, I'm doing o.k.

This Way for Fun

If you just about go catatonic whenever you read this blog due to how hideously boring it is, come to the Creative Crabbing blog, which is actually fun. I toss out a wacky short story or paragraph from my book for you to read and you can add to it and make it even more inane, insane, or deranged. My real life is boring and stressful, but my imagination is great fun--if you're somewhat twisted, that is.

The stockmeister

I invest in penny stocks when I have a little extra money because you never know when the next Xerox may come along. I have a small amount of money invested in a couple of stocks. Not that it's a huge deal and it may come back up but my solar energy stock just slam dunked from $1.30 a share down to 85 cents a share. Crap--and just when I was going to put my dividends into a stock for a company that is trying to replenish the plankton supply which has become very diminished over the years.
I always try to invest in socially conscious stocks. I had my money invested in oil stocks for awhile but I pulled it out. They were losing me money and I'd rather support something I believe in.
I'm actually proud that I've started a small savings account too. It's attached to my debit card. At the end of the two week period, just before I'm about to get paid again, I'll transfer whatever few dollars there may be from my checking to my savings account. I now have nine dollars. It may not sound like a lot but it's more than I had for a long time!
Here's what will blow you away. I have the debit card through Netspend, which is affiliated with Ace Cash Express. I will never get a Payday loan, I hate those things, they charge 666% interest, I think literally. But the bank that holds the debit card accounts is honest and they don't fuck you over for going into overdraft. If the money isn't there, you just don't get to make the purchase. Simple, and better. The card costs me $10 a month. While that may sound like a lot, consider that one overdraft fee is usually $35. $120 a year is a small price to pay by compare to what used to happen. Sometimes if I made a bum decision I would end up with fees around $120 a month. Trust me when I say I should never be an accountant. I'd end you up in the poorhouse!
And that's my exciting financial life!

Actually pretty accurate

Your Learning Style: Personal and Passionate

You are very flexible and curious about the world. Human understanding is very important to you. You Should Study: Anthropology Architecture Art Art history Art therapy Classics Counseling Foreign Languages and Literature International Studies Linguistics Literature Psychology Sociology Teaching

What Should You Study?

If the truth be told...

You Are 93% Burned Out

You are extremely burned out. You work too hard, and you're not getting the results you deserve. It's time for a life change, as soon as you can manage it. You're giving away most of your energy to something you don't even enjoy.

Are You Burned Out?

My Blog is a Horror Story

You Are a Life Blogger!

Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary. If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible.

What Kind of Blogger Are You?

Update

I'm doing all right mood-wise. A wise person suggested that it sounds like a major part of my son's problem may simply be being a night owl in a world that caters to larks. His sleep patterns are much like mine would be if I were able to let them go on their own. Poor guy--it ain't easy.
Also there are the stresses of keeping his grades up in a school that while very caring and devoted to their students has a rigorous academic program. He does a great job--gets all A's and B's. He's something of a perfectionist and I think that the struggle he's having with physics bothers him. He was also very stressed out about the ACT. He doesn't even want to take the SAT because he hated the ACT so much. And of course there are concerns about college. I almost wish he could have another year at this school to kind of take it easy and just plan. He didn't get into this school until last year and it's been the best thing in the world for him.
At this point I'm concerned about my father. He had a stroke 3 years ago. Not only is he partially paralyzed on his right side, his inability to exercise or walk very far has contributed to his circulation in the lower body becoming impaired. Combine that with some atrial fibrillation and edema builds up in the legs. He has a bad wound on the right leg that just won't heal. This is the kind of thing that happens to diabetics because of their poor circulation. He's 71 but looks much older. My mother is angry because over the years he was too stubborn to take care of a lot of health needs and now she has to take care of everything for him. Fortunately at least he can still go to the bathroom and take care of business himself. That at least is a relief. His back and legs were bad before he had the stroke. He didn't want to get an MRI because of being stuck in that little tube and I don't blame him. They didn't tell him that he could be sedated, which is the only way you could get me into one of those things. I'm claustrophobic as hell.
My father also had to have this heinous procedure done to test whether the urologist thinks they can do a particular procedure to reduce the excess prostate tissue. I asked if the urologist was still alive. I won't go into details--it was barbaric.
I go to the doc once a year and get the general tests done as well as the test for my thyroid. Other than that I don't go unless I feel like I'm dying. But my mother was definitely right about my father being stubborn. He's really not in very good condition and his mental outlook is pretty bad. He's never accepted what happened and is very angry. I can understand, but in many ways he's also unrealistic. He thinks that if he hadn't had the stroke he'd magically have the health he did when he was 20. He's writing a book. I enjoy reading it but a lot of it seems to be a personal wish to go back in time. I may write more about this at some other point.
Thanks to everyone who expressed support when I was on the down-low. It is appreciated.

Me, the dichotomy

Once again, I can't win.

It has come to my attention that my lame attempts at humor have left people thinking that I'm shallow. But when I open up and tell it like it is, I get accused of being too serious. The truth in any case is that humor for me is a band-aid. There are a fuck of a lot of open wounds in the old psyche. I actually do think about things. More than I'd like to, really. Appearing glib is a way of shielding myself. If you act like a clown, people tend not to know how sensitive you are because allowing one's sensitivities to be laid bare is not wise in this world.

I'm sure that all two people that read this dumb blog already knew this though.

Down in Gloomville

Things aren't great right now. I'm worried about my son. He puts on a good face, but his teachers think he's depressed. Getting any information out of him is like pulling teeth.
I'm feeling pretty low. I would think this is a bummer anytime but I actually got really depressed when I found out that Flower and Carlos from the Meerkat Manor show had died. I hadn't watched it in a long time and that was a crappy surprise.
Life is dumb.

The Dog

I know he's over the top, but I actually like Duane "Dog" Chapman. I was dismayed by the recent revelation that he referred to his son's girlfriend as a "nigger" in a conversation that his son later released to the National Enquirer.
I'm sure that Dog's background is a bit questionable. He was in prison, and he has 12 kids with several different women. Not particularly honorable behavior by any means. But I have to admire someone who risked his own safety and freedom to try and bring a horrific serial rapist to justice. Andrew Luster is a first-class scum, a sociopath who seems to think that having money gives him the right to do whatever he wants to others. He drugged and raped several women and thanks to the efforts of Dog, Tim and Leland he is now serving 124 years in jail, which is the only place he should ever be. No matter what else, I admire Dog for having brought him back. But I still think it's very sad that he would harbor the racist thoughts that he appears to. I hope that he can truly see the error in his thinking and not merely be apologizing because he was caught.
However, I've thought for a long time that he should be brought in by the Taste Police for his blatant mullet-wearing behavior.

Stupid Puritanical Laws go too far

Stupidity reared it's ugly head and shone a glaring spotlight on it in this case. A young man was sent to jail for three years for having consensual oral sex when he was 17 years old. His partner was 15.

I don't advocate teenagers having sex, which may sound hypocritical considering that I did at that age. But while I think that having sex that young is erroneous, I certainly don't think that consensual sex between teenagers should end up with some poor kid doing three years in jail. This should be a matter to be discussed between the teenagers and their parents, and if the parents are complete knuckleheads, then perhaps between the teenagers and a health professional.

In a society that accepts in-your-face sexuality in entertainment and in advertising, the hypocrisy in this case is glaring. There's no way this kid should have done three years in jail unless he forced oral sex on the other person, which apparently he did not.

My son is seventeen and we've talked about the consequences of having sex too young. We've talked about STD's and unwanted pregnancy. He's too busy to even have a girlfriend at this point but aside from that, he has sensible attitudes about sex and I'm proud to say is respectful of females. I've always been logical enough to realize, however, that teenagers have raging hormones and even the smart ones occasionally do something stupid. If my son had been one of these, sure, I would have been disappointed, but I would never have thought that he or his partner were "bad." And I certainly wouldn't have wanted to see either of them put in jail for their actions.

The fact that a throwback law like this one was ever enforced is sickening. How about if we concentrate on catching rapists and child molesters and instead of punishing teenagers for having sex we educate them. And perhaps treat them like human beings instead of criminals. This was not a criminal act, it was a bad judgment call. I'm really sad for this kid. And really sickened by our justice system for the injustice meted on him.

Cheesemeister Blinded With Science

Just turned in the assignment I was late on, only to discover that my instructor never received my previous assignment, which I did turn in on time. It's an online course and I don't know how I can prove that I actually turned it in on time. And I have to study for the second major exam. Frustration levels are high!
I actually liked this music video. It was kind of goofy (in a good way, I thought) and a refreshing change from the T&A videos that were (and still are) soooooo annoyingly ubiquitous.

Proof that things are only getting weirder

This morning I received this puzzling mess in my email:

Round for a new means of death here is one of woman is a
commonplace old bundle of poverty and would have had no
reason to have taken her own and when the younger ones only
felt the exhilaration of railway travel, are brought to
the very door have been a prized defence, the sweet muse
the frosty air, at an hours distance from my place mitzi
tells you. She tells lies all the time. Hot, and something
called zoner chili. What the tested, inspected, and its
teething troubles already laid eyes on her myself. I was
in a job over to his remark. The italian general nodded
his head of the deputies, on george's island at halifax,
she, i have caused the roof and the bath to be and successful
campaign in which general scott.

Heaven help me...what have I done to deserve this???
Has anyone else received one of these?

La de da...

I've been farting around the last few nights playing these inane games at the King Games site. No, I don't get any compensation out of telling you about it. I do it as a public service in case you feel the need to fart around with inane games. I feel guilty about not getting anything worthwhile done. On the other hand my stress level was so high I felt like I needed to tune out. And in the back of my mind contemplate crap, some of it really worthless, some of it more pressing. Things such as:

When the roots of my hair start to show, they're now pretty much completely white. Should I just let it grow out and never have to fart around with dyeing it again?

I really wish I could work just 32 hours a week, but I would end up losing a couple hundred dollars a month that way, so that one I can't afford. But I feel so much better during my 4 day weeks than my 5 day weeks.

None, and I mean none, of the make money at home shit I've ever done has ever amounted to anything. I think I'd better just drop it like it's hot and concentrate on promoting the book. Dump the money I would have put into one of those "damn, this sounds great, this has to be the one, it has to make money" things and instead spend it on advertising for the book. I'm still disappointed as fuck that the really well written press release only pulled three people wanting to do reviews. Some people think that once I have a second book out there I might get more people sniffing around. I'm going to keep writing till the day I die. On one hand I really don't give a fuck if people like it or not. On the other hand...shit on toast, there have to be at least 100 people in the world that are as odd as I am! So far there are seven. Maybe the others just don't know about it yet. But that's what I'm going to do. If I can sign up for a program as an affiliate and not pay, I'm still going to play with that a bit. But anything I've got to pay for has got to go. I simply don't have the money.

Maybe it is good to just fuck off and play games sometimes. Just so long as I don't do it all the time. What's the harm?

Busted Now

Well, this is spiff. On my way to work I got pulled over for having a cracked windshield (which I knew about, but just spent $400 on new tires so couldn't bust out the $250 to get the windshield replaced just yet) and because the lights for the license plate were out, which I didn't know about because how often do I look back there. I went for my proof of insurance and lo and behold...where the hell was the current one??? I do have insurance but I guess I never received my current proof of insurance card. I told the officer I could bring it to the courthouse when I paid the ticket because I was sure he was going to write me one. Instead he says that he isn't going to write me a ticket--this time--but if he ever sees me driving this car again he'll arrest me.

WTF????

I don't think that's legal, but now I'm scared. I do have another car that I can drive, but this is my to and from work car. Now I feel like I'd better only drive it during the day when this particular cop won't be on duty. Is it just me or is that a really fucked up threat??

Also, now I don't want to drive the other car out to see my parents. There was a really high wind today and it literally blew away the loose framing around one window. It used to be my mother's car and she'll have a cow when she sees that and accuse me of not taking care of the car. Guess I pissed the wind gods off or something. Some days you just can't win.

Hypothyroidism and Weight Gain

You can read my post on my psych blog about hypothyroidism and weight gain (two things with which I'm all too familiar) if you want to.

Prosecuting the IMPORTANT crimes

Forget murder and rape--here's a crime that REALLY deserves jail time!

Potty mouth! Woman cited for cursing at toilet
Pa. woman faces jail, fine for shouting profanities in her own home
CNBC's Lee Hawkins reports.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Updated: 4:35 p.m. MT Oct 16, 2007
SCRANTON, Pa. - A Scranton woman who admitted shouted profanities at her overflowing toilet within earshot of a neighbor was cited for disorderly conduct, authorities said.

Dawn Herb could face up to 90 days in jail and a fine of up to $300.

“It doesn’t make any sense. I was in my house. It’s not like I was outside or drunk,” Herb told The Times-Tribune of Scranton. “The toilet was overflowing and leaking down into the kitchen and I was yelling (for my daughter) to get the mop.”

Herb doesn’t recall exactly what she said, but she admitted letting more than a few choice words fly near an open bathroom window Thursday night.

Her next-door neighbor, a city police officer who was off-duty at the time, asked her to keep it down, police said. When she continued, the officer called police.

Mary Catherine Roper, an attorney with the American Civil Liberties Union in Philadelphia, took issue with the citation.

“You can’t prosecute somebody for swearing at a cop or a toilet,” she said.

Bosses

Click here to read a slightly exaggerated version of a recent exchange between me and our department's administrator.

It's Good To Be Queen!

I read this on a message board. I liked it--don't know if anyone else will agree but I think it's kinda amusing!
The reason there are so few psychiatrists in England is when some one goes to the Doctor there and says they are depressed, the Doc says, "Well, have a cuppa tea and get hold of yourself."

Busy

I've been really busy. Sorry to have been antisocial. Taking a brief break from the latest science fiasco, I discovered this article.

And here was my response:

As someone who has worked in elder care for a cumulative of almost 9 years, at the heart of the depression that someone in my position might face is the low wages that most companies pay and the fact that nurse aides are treated like dogs by most nursing homes. We are looked down on by many of the nurses as being uneducated and of low intelligence. We are talked down to. The work is physically demanding and many nursing homes are understaffed so it is often very difficult to get a fellow employee to assist you if you should need it. This not only compromises patient care but naturally contributes to the depression that seems to come hand in hand with these kinds of jobs. I ruined my back doing this sort of work. Fortunately I found a decent retirement community to work at and was able to get away from working in long term care. I now work as the overnight emergency care person for the independent residents in this community. I am also valued more by my supervisor and my pay is better.

Nursing assistants are incredibly important and also incredibly devalued by most of society including their more schooled co-workers (nurses) and the administrators. What is wrong with this picture?

Speaking of backs, my friend Dave just had some sort of less invasive back surgery (no fusing with metal rods or cutting away of bone structure) involving lazers. Hopefully it helps with the three herniated disks in his back--yow! I haven't been able to pay for chiropractic treatment in over a month myself. I just requested payout from one of the paid to read advertising companies I've been working with. It could take up to 3 months. I've looked them up and they seem to be one of the legit ones. Don't know why the payout has to take so long, but if I actually get it, I won't complain!

Post #40: My Life of Joy and Fun

Well, parts of it actually are. But here's what isn't. This crappy cold I keep fighting off. The pain in my muscles. This science class which actually has interesting parts but mostly I keep saying "oh for fuck's sake, I don't CARE about this shit!" Right now I'm waiting to see how long it takes food coloring to diffuse across a petri dish of gelatin. Whoopee! Come 6:30 a.m. I will dispatch the lab to my teacher. And then it's on to the next exciting thing. Solving the mystery of the case of the limp vegetable. I must have a dirty mind because this sounds like a really bad porno.

I'm scraping some money together so I can order a sandwich because I forgot my damn lunch. I hate feeling like this. Which is why I really really really hope the stuff I'm doing online right now pans out. I will know in a few days and if it does I will share my knowledge. I hate the feeling that if I want a fucking sandwich I have to pray that I have the money to get one. I've spent 42 years on this stupid planet and I work hard. Is it too much to ask that I should have the money for a stupid sandwich when I want one??? Or that I should be able to pay my mortgage on my stupid mobile home and pay my phone and electric bill without it being such a damn struggle. I know there are lots of people with similar problems. The working poor. It's bullshit. If you're a hard working person you should be able to have a modest home and basic things without too much of a fight. I don't know about y'all, but Uncle George pockets 21% of each of my paychecks. Guess he figures I can spare $5500 of the grand $26,000 I make a year at my high power job. Glad to support your war, George. Need more to buy yourself a new SUV? Just reach into my pockets. I've obviously got plenty. That's why I live in my blinged out trailer and drive my beat up 94 Ford Escort with the cracked windshield I can't afford to get fixed. It's all for you, Partner!

I'm through whining for now--it doesn't accomplish anything but it feels better to let it loose sometimes. But I can't help thinking of the line from that Bad Company song.

Give me silver, blue and gold

The color of the sky I'm told

My rainbow is overdue.

I've been singing that song (badly) since I was 13 years old.

Press Release

Finally--a professionally written press release that doesn't suck. Check it out!

Has the Cheesemeister been hit on?

This is amusing. I got this comment on my business blog. Honestly, I think this person mass sent this to every Blog Charm member. But it's still funny.

Hello My Dear. I am miss Celine Debor a 24 years old girl from Liberia in west coast of Africa,i saw your profile and was interested please i would like to know more about you,your likes and dislikes with your favorite food and hobbies,remember age or distance does not matter but what matters is love,for further communication contact me via email (celine77_c@yahoo.com) that will enable me to explain myself well to you and as well send my pictures for you to know whom i am. Thanks And Remain Blessed. Yours New Friend Miss Celine.

Bo-ring

Sorry, this blog is super duper uber boring lately. Go to my Animal blog instead and read about some cool creatures that you probably never heard of before.

I've been really busy working on web pages. Eventually I also find myself having to work on the stupid biology class. Dullsville. Lily is also doing tarot readings. I'm aware that most of you think that sort of thing is bogus, but just in case you're interested, go here to see. Also if you want to try the story before you buy, you can go here.

In the meantime I'll continue to post recipes here in Boring Land (aka what my life is really like outside of my head) and I'll keep visiting y'all!

My Ass Hurts

From all the shit I've had to deal with regarding computers today!
I want to get a Tuffbook, but they're $1700 so that will have to wait. I'm looking into getting one small computer that's made strictly for word processing functions and has a super long battery life. That one's actually fairly inexpensive. Then I need another computer for the online stuff that I do. I've tentatively decided on getting one of those new compact laptops from Dell. I tried to go with monthly payments but my credit is too shitty. However there may be an option to do it through Rent A Center, which might cost more per month. But I would have my computer.
Some of the online stuff I've been doing promises to pay me about $3000 within a month. If this is legit I'll let you all know about it because it's pretty easy to do. But I wouldn't want to get my friends in on something that's only going to lead to frustration. Or even my friendly enemies! My unfriendly enemies, however, can Google the Ultimate Wealth Plan. Or get involved with Don Lapre. My dumb ass lost money to those schemes, I can tell you!

I hate gremlins

The fucking gremlins have been at my computer. I had to reinstall Windows. Oh joy of joys.
There was some sort of instability and I kept having to turn it off restart it, rather than using the shut down function. That always causes eventual instability. I probably should take it to the tech just in case. Might as well just flush fifty bucks. This shit always happens all at once.

The way this thing looks you'd think I kicked it on a daily basis. Three keys have fallen off so far. It gets used a lot but I actually don't abuse it. I don't even move it around that much. WTF? Cheap piece of crap! The more advanced they get the more fragile they are.
Anyway, that's what's going on in my world at the moment. Hope yours is better.

Seems Fancy But Isn't

This is a real easy one to make in the slow cooker. The only thing is, you have to be careful not to overcook it, which is easy to do.

For every 1 cup of frozen tortellini, add 1 cup of water and 1 cup of seasoned mixed vegetables. If you can't find seasoned mixed vegetables, use any kind of mixed vegetables you enjoy and add a tablespoon of Italian seasoning for every cup of the other ingredients. If you like meat, add 1 Polish or Italian sausage for every cup of the other items. I made 9 cups worth of each because it was for a pot luck. For that amount of ingredients, cook on low for about 3 hours. I went a little over that and the tortellini got sticky. It still tasted all right but I would have preferred it a little firmer.

Cut up the sausage. Toss the ingredients with olive oil and parmesan cheese.

The leftovers will make a good pasta salad the following day. Mix with some greens and a little Caeser dressing. I like the oil and vinegar Caeser better than the creamy kind. Italian or a vinaigrette would also work well.

Sorry it seems like I only put recipes on this blog. I really don't feel like getting involved with political controversy lately. Lily's blog is probably controversial enough. And then there's my business blog, which is boring and not at all controversial but somewhat time consuming. So, probably no controversy here.

I like the vulture better

With a face like mine, it's not hard to find someone prettier to represent my products!

Mug shot

Sorry about breaking your computer monitor. I need a picture to make a promotional splash page and this horrifying mug shot is about the best photo I have of me. I blame the camera, but seriously, what did I give it to work with, after all?
I may end up using the vulture or the butterfly instead.

They Call Me The Cheesemeister

I got 8/10 right on Anne's Quiz on Cheese.

I was told: "You are a cheese connoisseur."

Check out my new venture!

Apricot Chicken

At last, another recipe! I have been so depressed recently that I couldn't cook anything that wasn't already prepped. This recipe is sooo hard, you'll never be able to do it. Only a genius like me can!
Kidding. This recipe is so easy, even an idiot like me can do it. Once again, I thank my friend the slow cooker.

APRICOT CHICKEN
6 chicken breasts, 4 oz. each
1/2 cup Russian dressing
1/2 cup Apricot preserves
1/2 envelope onion soup mix
If desired, 1/4 cup each chopped onions and mushrooms
Cook on low for 5-6 hours, stirring every 2 hours

See how hard that is? So easy a child can do it. Now I just need to find a child!
Most onion soup mixes contain the vile substance MSG. In many people (myself included) this causes respiratory distress and/or intestinal distress. It's an excitotoxin, which causes varying degrees of distress in certain people. So I used an organic onion dip mix from Simply Natural, which contains no MSG.
I don't like Russian dressing on salad, but it makes a good dip for chicken strips or chicken nuggets. Thousand Island is only good on Reuben sandwiches or Big Macs.

sorry self

I'm feeling sorry for myself. This fucking biology class makes me feel so thick headed plus I really don't want to be doing it. I also hate promoting stuff but I have to do it. Before I go to sleep I work on stuff. When I wake up to take a pee I work on stuff. When I'm working at my job and I have down time I work on stuff. I'm always working on stuff. Yet I seem to have less and less money and I don't have any more things.

My paltry student aid check came today. $270 and I was expecting $1000. More fucking disappointment. Maybe its a good thing nobody comes here. I'm really a pathetic bastard aren't I?

Alone in the fog

I feel like I'm driving through a fog. I don't know that I'll be doing much here for a while. It's boring and nobody comes here. This is kind of a bummer but is is a worse bummer that I never receive any personal email any more. All I do is promote stuff. I'll still be working on the humor blogs. There has to be something of me left somewhere. Not that anyone really likes me very much anyway. Once my son is in college I'll just finish it the fuck off. Everyone will be better off with me gone.

Just call me Willy Wonka

I've failed at every business venture I've tried before. But whether or not I succeed in the business end of this one, I'm still a winner. Because I have discovered my true love.
Chocolate that's actually good for you!
Check it out!
I just hope my butt ugly photo doesn't scare away the prospects.

Oops

Did I somehow offend people with my previous posts? I hope not!

On the other hand

If ya want tew reed sum reely intelijent konvursashun about 9/11 frum sum reely intelijent peepul that wil mak yu wish yu wur Kanadian, clik heer.

9/11 thoughts

Couldn't let it go by without remembering my father's college friend Kirsten, who died on Flight 93. I really didn't know her, but it brings a tear to my eye, especially when I saw the Flight 93 movie. That one could have been exploitative but I think they did a good job of trying to realistically portray the reactions of the passengers and crew.

I also think of the firefighters and cops who died trying to help people in the towers. My brother is a firefighter, so I know how these people put their lives on the line. He is also a SWAT medic and is wearing himself out trying to pass all the tests to become a captain. I hope he gets it. This work is his life and he would be really crushed after the hard work he's done if he doesn't. Of course like anything else there's politics involved and he's put his foot in it more than once with the upper management types, speaking up on behalf of the firefighter crew, who were often left to do all the cleanup work after a shift. The medics would leave. My brother could speak as both a firefighter and a medic, citing that just because the medics have more training doesn't mean that the firefighters don't work just as hard. His superiors were not happy and transferred him to another station for a few months as punishment. Petty bastards.

You really have to love this kind of work to stay with it. It's physically and mentally taxing. I couldn't have done it for as long as he has. These people are the real heroes, not some arrogant sports figure or stuck up Hollywood star.

Last year I wrote about the fire chaplain Mychal Judge. This guy is a great example of why all those morons who say that homosexuals shouldn't be allowed to be clergy are straight up stupid. His being gay was never an issue. He was there to counsel the firefighters and in the end gave his life trying to help people. Gay or straight should not make a damn bit of difference when recognizing a person's goodness and devotion to others--or when deciding who our friends are. I like people because they're good to me and generally try to be decent to others, not because of their sexual orientation. These people who say "God hates homos" really piss me off. What kind of god would create someone just to turn around and hate them. I contend that homosexuality is a natural form of population control and that the Goddess knew what she was doing when she decided that some people should be gay!

The religious right is piling up the kindling around the stake and bringing the ropes to tie me there even as I speak.

At any rate, a moment of silence for those who died. Religious fanaticism is never the answer.

Results of the Experiment

My horribly boring report on the results of the incredibly exciting thumb dominance experiment can be found here.

A Better Environment

I'm rallying mentally and physically. Still a little weak but definitely better than last night. And I have something fun for you to do! Just visit my "forest." Every visit to a "forest" helps collect clicks, and when a million clicks are reached, Act4Trees will donate 10,000 Euro to the reforestation of Amazonia. It's easy and painless. You can build your own forest too!

Sicko

Please don't anyone take my absence personally. I am really, really sick and am going to go lie down on the Short Couch. Yes, I'm at work. This malady struck me at 8:00--too late to call in barring a heart attack or a car accident.
First I became very depressed and paranoid. Then I thought I was having a bout with IBS. Well, the IBS flared up, but I'm now inclined to think it's due to food poisoning. Currently I'm running a fever of 102.5
The hypochondriac thoughts come in of "it's cancer and you're going to die horribly."
And I think back:

"Fuck--dying would be fine right about now. Problem with cancer would be that it takes too fucking long.

My stomach is gnawing on itself but I can't eat for fear of throwing up. It's a sad day when a person in their middle years has to put on the very sexy protective underwear. Yep--I keep these around for the times when the IBS gets really bad to the point of uncontrollable. Thus far it seems to have been overkill, but there were a couple of near misses. Hopefully I'm done with that end of it, so to speak. But if this fever goes any higher I'll have to take something to bring it down. My philosophy with a fever is unless it goes to 103 or higher, let it burn. Your body is trying to get rid of an infection. At this point even I lie down and quit running myself ragged.

Burn baby burn!

I couldn't even be arsed to find a picture of a nuclear explosion to include. Maybe next time.

My 20th Exciting Post

I Heart My Peeps

Just wanted to let my peeps know that I'm pretty much OK, in the most basic sense anyway. I'm not in the loony bin or suicidal. I don't feel very good--kind of always on the edge of a panic attack, and last night I was so tired that I saw a face on one of the oven fries at dinner, but I'm hanging in. There's just too much to do between work, schoolwork and promoting the book including its various satellite blogs. In the meantime, you can check out the latest drama in the lives of Zack Crackajack and Dr. Schitz. Their lives are are sooo much more interesting than mine!

The Walking Dead

Welcome to the realm of the walking dead! Thanks to everybody who has helped me with my assignment, and I'm sorry I've been a bit remiss in answering comments. I'm still one of the walking dead. I was exhausted but couldn't fall asleep until about 1:30 this afternoon. I was due to pick my son up at 3:15...ooops....that's when I woke up. Luckily he isn't a little kid so I could tell him to just hold tight and I'd be there soon.

I made my son an exciting late afternoon snack/early dinner of hamburger and mashed potatoes and then went back to sleep. I woke up to Son saying to me "do you have to work tonight?"

"Yep."

"Well, it's 9:30."

I had to be at work at 10. I found a pair of pants and threw a lab coat over the t-shirt I was wearing, not even bothering to find a bra. It's a thick t-shirt, I'm not busty, and the lab coat will hide anything that people might find offensive.

I checked how much paid time off I have, thinking that it's really time I took a week. I have a day and a half. And it doesn't accrue very fast. Shit. Spent the rest of it helping my family out over the past couple of years.

And there is another chapter in my too thrilling life. I am not one in a million, I am one OF a million. There are lots of zombies roaming around these days.

Investools

What the hell is an inve-stool?
I saw this at the top of the MSN home page. "Attend a free 2 hour Investools class."
I know...it's supposed to be Inves-tools. But I read it as an inve-stool.
Is this a new kind of step ladder? Or a new kind of colon cancer test?
What does inve-stool say to you?

Science experiment

I need to get results for this silly science experiment. Should you choose to participate, I would really appreciate it. All you need to do is tell me if you are right handed or left handed. Then clasp your hands together, interlacing the fingers. Tell me whether the right or left thumb ends up on top.
Thanks--I really appreciate it. I need to get 50 people to do this nonsense.

My Boring Blog

I have been tremendously tired lately and this blog is BORING! I appreciate everybody's support, but I acknowledge its boringness. If you want something snarkier, try my Stupidity Exposed blog, where I rip on pop culture.

When all else failed, I used to do a Top Ten Searches to your Blog post. But I'll have to move that over to Lily's Garden of Horrors. Which is going to end up being a great deal more interesting than this blog, but I won't hold back on all the esoteric belief stuff, so if you're the sort that tends to think that stuff is a load of crapola, you won't like that blog very much.

I have not been well lately. I have no energy, ever. All I want to do is sleep. I look like death warmed over. I have digestive problems and my pee smells rank. I don't think it's a vitamin deficiency because I take vitamins--unless there's some sort of vitamin that freaks like me use up too quickly. I already take extra B vitamins because people with bipolar use up b vitamins more quickly than normal people do. Maybe the B vitamins are making my pee smell bad--they're pretty stinky. I don't have a bladder infection because it doesn't hurt to pee. I test my blood sugar at work and it's normal. So...WTF. I really don't know.

I have to get through this damn biology class. My parents are hell bent on me being a nurse. Unfortunately, unless I were to work a second full time job I couldn't pay my bills without their help. And I can barely get my dead ass out of bed to go to the one full time job I already have. Since the ex husband hasn't worked in almost 2 years, I get no support from him and please don't suggest that I take him to court. He has mental problems too and he does help me out in other ways. He isn't a complete asshole. I wish he would get a job. But it doesn't do any good to ride his ass either. At least he's getting counseling from the local mental health service, which is good, he's needed it for a long time. I need it too, but I hate county mental health. They're overwhelmed and I don't think they'd know what the fuck to do with me. They didn't last time. They just want to put me on tons of medications. My body can tolerate Lithium--I have very bad reactions to most meds, not just psych meds but all meds. My ex got lucky--he got someone who's simply willing to talk to him. The time I went I got this person who had no sense of humor. She was nice enough but we really didn't click. Besides, it would be one more thing to drag my ass out of bed to do. This isn't wanting to stay in bed from depression. This is literal exhaustion. I already owe my doctor money--I can't afford another full health screening right now. So I drag on.

Anyway, I am supposed to get through this damn biology class. It's the last thing I want to do. My parents help me with some money needs as long as I agree to continue going to school to become a nurse. I would be a horrible nurse. Not that I would be mean to the patients, but I have a hard time concentrating when I get this tired. The job I currently have I can hold because it doesn't come with a lot of responsibilities. I just have to be there in case something happens and I have to do some computer tasks. Shit...I just want to go back to sleep now.

Pimp Me!

I enjoy having provocative titles! And while I still don't want anyone to link any of my Cheesemeister blogs because I need to have some place that I can come and feel safe to really express myself, my alter ego Lily Strange would really like for you to link to her profile--she needs the publicity! And she's willing to suffer possible trolls to get it. Greed tends to make a person snarky.

If you do it, thanks. I appreciate it!

If you don't, my co-author will come piss in your drink.

Only kidding. He saves that sort of juvenile poltergeist behavior for people he really dislikes.

Safe, Reliable, and Not Very Zingy

So here is this amazing quiz from MSN which will tell you all about what a sexy stud or hot babe you are as a date, based on what you would do for labor day. Somehow I always thought of Labor Day as one of those pig out and be lazy if at all possible holidays. (I won't be--I'll be working.) Seems about as romantic as Thanksgiving. But these people are experts, Folks. So if you dare, find out just what a love god or goddess you are according to your Labor Day preferences!

I am safe, reliable and not very zingy. Sounds about right.

Quiz: What’s your love style?
By Margot Carmichael Lester
Are you going all-out to plan an original and fun Labor Day weekend with your honey? Or just relying on your pals to plan a backyard barbecue? How much effort you put into your planning for this last big weekend of summer says a lot about your dating style. Take this quiz and learn about your true nature.

1. What’s your idea of the perfect Labor Day weekend?
Buying enough chips and beer to last through the Indy 500. (Score = -1)
Doing whatever the heck I want for 72 consecutive hours. (Score = 1)
Telling everyone I’m going out of town with my folks, even though I’m not.
(Score = 2)
Planning a cookout. (Score = 3)
Booking a nice get-away to a fun location for me and my new sweetie—neither of us will have to lift a finger. (Score = 4)
2. Which movie title best describes your approach to planning?
The Cheap Detective—I’m always looking for the low-price option. (Score = -1)
Bachelor Party—it’s all about me and my pals. (Score = 1)
Hide and Seek—if I lay low, I won’t make any gaffes. (Score = 2)
Everybody’s All-American—I’m a regular kind of person who tries hard.
(Score = 3)
The Trip To Bountiful—I love planning escapes for me and my friend.
(Score = 4)
3. You’re planning a Labor Day party. What’s your biggest concern?
Figuring out how to keep my date from crashing the party. (Score = -1)
How much my friends will pitch in. (Score = 1)
How I can get my companion to do all the planning so I can’t be blamed if something goes wrong. (Score = 2)
Making sure I’ve got enough charcoal and mixers. (Score = 3)
Doing enough prep work so I can really enjoy the party—and my date. (Score = 4)
4. When it comes to how hard you’ll labor for love, you:
Sit back and let other people expend all the effort. (Score = -1)
Date only low-maintenance folks who aren’t expecting a lot from me. (Score = 1)
Tell your date to just let you know what he or she wants to do. (Score = 2)
I’ll send flowers, snag great dinner reservations and get a nice birthday gift. (Score = 3)
I do whatever it takes to get the person of my dreams. (Score = 4)
5. Your date wants to get away for a few days. You say:
“Have fun!” (Score = -1)
“Can you book something in Vegas for us? I love playing the slots.” (Score = 1)
“I appreciate your taking care of everything.” (Score = 2)
“Sure, pick a place you like and I’ll be happy.” (Score = 3)
“Great, let’s sit down and plan something together.” (Score = 4)
SCORING

Less than 0: Ouch! You’re looking quite lazy—and cheap!
You’re not stepping up to the plate and being an active, responsible, and caring dater. Realize that you’ll only get out of romance what you put into it. And if money is part of the reason why you aren’t really participating in Labor Day love plans, know this: “I have a lot of clients who want to travel, but have serious budget restrictions,” says Arik Anderson, president of Executive Travel Center in Sacramento, CA. “Travel agents are always getting information on unadvertised deals, so don’t be afraid to use a rep to plan a trip on the cheap. Don’t worry, most don’t charge clients for services.”

0-5: You’re too self-centered to worry about what your date wants to do.
“You’re taking care of your needs. Now, there’s nothing wrong with that, as long as you then plan a reciprocal date that’s all about the other person’s needs,” says April Masini, author of Think & Date Like A Man. “Or if you can make some kind of a deal where Labor Day weekend plans are about you, but something else your date really wants — like Thanksgiving at his or her family’s house this year — will definitely happen. Relationships are about balancing your own needs with your generosity towards your partner.”

6-10: You’re so afraid of making a mistake that you don’t even try.
Dating is an adventure—don’t be afraid to get into the middle of things. Some things you try will be great, some will be no-go’s... but that’s part of life. Don’t sweat it and take some initiative—and some chances! And when it comes to travel-planning, get professional help. “Travel agents can do all the heavy lifting,” Anderson says. “Tell us where you and your date want to go and what you want to do there, and we take care of the rest. If anything goes wrong, we can help you fix it.”

11-15: You’re safe and reliable. Not bad qualities, certainly, but not very zingy.
You are a nice date, no date about that, but try to liven up your routine and how your and your date spend time. Spontaneity and surprises can do wonders. “Adding zing to your plans requires opening your mind to creative options and practicing doing that,” Masini says. If you need help planning a weekend away, consider this advice: “Take a charity or volunteer weekend away where you go to help out a disaster area or a poverty area. Take a cooking weekend where you immerse yourselves in gourmet cooking and eating courses and meals can be great fun, as can be your garden variety, but not-often-taken spa weekend for two. The more you add zing, the more natural it will become to add zing.”

16-20: You’re creative, active and engaged in life—and in your relationship.
These are great traits in a date—congratulations!

North Carolina-based quiz-mistress Margot is the author of The Real Life Guide to Life After College and Be A Better Writer.

Quandry

I have to come up with cheap (free, really) ways to promote the book and one of my ideas is through blogging. I lay down a new chapter once a week on the book blog. Hopefully this will entice some fuckers out there to buy the thing. And maybe some non-fuckers too. I also have a blog about "Lily's" thoughts. Lily is a bit of a fucker herself. She's an "alter ego." Unlike me, who is exceedingly sensitive, she is perfectly capable of being a callous asshole.

The third blog in the "Lily" series is about the promotion end of being an author. Hopefully other prospective authors will be able to learn from my frustrations.

While this might read like I have dissociative identity disorder, I don't. This is simply a clarification. I communicate with a lot of people who have dissociative identity disorder. They have several very interesting personalities. I, on the other hand describe myself as having a fractured personality. "I" am one person with several aspects--all of them shitty. "Lily" is part of me, but she's also a mask I can put on. A person with DID doesn't have the choice. Different personalities will come out depending on the situation. Sometimes the other personalities are conscious of what's going on at the time that a given personality is expressing, sometimes not. I'm not really sure why my soul didn't fracture into multiple personalities given my history, but it didn't.

I keep the "Cheesemeister" blogs hidden because I have to be able to express myself uncensored. The humor blogs, for instance the Death Cheese blog and the Crappy Times are raw and outrageous. Most people don't get my sense of humor. I need to be able to do this kind of stuff without criticism. It is my therapy. I also have a psych blog that I keep separate where I can express the worst parts of my psych issues. I prefer to keep this blog kind of light hearted. I talk about personal issues but usually not details of my mental illness. It's too depressing.

I honestly don't know where all this is going. I've started school again, and once again I'm doing way too much. That always ends me up in deep doo doo.

In other useless news, I may be the only person I know that can eat an entire grapefruit at one sitting. But I know for a fact it ain't grapefruit that made me wide on the backside. That would be due to the fact that I can eat an entire medium pizza by myself--and used to do so fairly regularly. Things of that nature. I now keep those individual pizzas on hand. That way I can still eat an entire pizza, but it doesn't do as much damage!

Chicken Enchilada Chili

I like to cook--as long as it doesn't involve any fancy maneuvers. Separating an egg yolk and white is too fancy for me! And I can't make meringue to save my life. No baked Alaska in this house! But if you can throw some ingredients in a crockpot/slow cooker or a casserole dish? That's for me!

This tasted pretty good. It's a good way to get rid of leftover chicken. You can also use canned chicken, but for my point of view, canned chicken tastes like canned chicken. You could also cook some boneless chicken breasts, refrigerate them overnight and then dice them. If you can get pre-diced chicken such as Schwan's, I like that the best after regular leftover chicken. It's easy to use, has already been cooked, and doesn't involve the Canned taste.

This is a good Tex-Mex dish.

Chicken Enchilada Chili

6 corn tortillas, 6 inch

1 16 oz can whole kernel corn with peppers, drained

2-3 cups diced cooked chicken

1 tsp chili powder or Mexican spice blend

1/4 tsp ground black pepper

1/4 tsp sea salt

1 (4 oz) can chopped green chili peppers

2 cups shredded Mexican blend or mild cheddar cheese

2 (10 oz each) cans enchilada sauce

1 15 oz can black beans, rinsed and drained

Guacamole and sour cream

Spray slow cooker with cooking spray or line with slow cooker liner. Place 3 tortillas in bottom of slow cooker. Top with the corn, half of the chicken, half of the seasonings, and half of the chili peppers. Sprinkle with half of the shredded cheese and pour half of the enchilada sauce over the cheese.

Place 3 more corn tortillas on top of the mixture. Top with the black beans, remaining chicken, remaining seasonings, remaining chili peppers and remaining cheese. Top with remaining enchilada sauce. Cover and cook on low setting for 5-6 hours. Serve with guacamole and sour cream.

Corn tortillas usually come in packages of 12. It's nice to serve the extras on the side with this dish.

I'd like to serve a nice arsenic-laden bowl of this to whoever designed the damn Page Wizard that my host provider so sadistically bestows upon us numb-nuts web designers that really don't know what we're doing. Next year when my tax return comes in, Dream Weaver shall be mine...oh yes!

Generally speaking, it isn't a good idea to serve arsenic with this dish!